Actually I'm quite smart most of the time... but it is never consistant, no matter what the task is, suddenly without warning at any time a mistake can occur.
How is this is different to what would be considered normal? Probably the most significant mistakes i make are the ones that happen out of the blue, contrary to routine - sometimes even years of routine! For example, one day i was driving down the street and came upon a red light ahead. I saw the red light and in my mind i said to myself "that is a red light" and i kept on driving right thru!!! I saw the red light, i acknoledged to myself it was a red light, but the proper conclusion went AWOL. So apparantly after driving for 20 years knowing red lights mean stop, suddenly, totally out of the blue, i fail to comprehend a red light means stop??? It is the sme with every aspect of life, there is no guarrantee at any time, the simplest of routine can suddenly bust!
Also i cannot do repetative tasks, manual or data entry. I have lost quite a few jobs invo;ving repetative tasks because the mistake rate is always well above average.
Another interesting symptom is that i cannot play chess.... actually i am a brilliant chess player, have been playing chess since i was five years old, and have been making sensless mistakes the whole time. If i play 10-50-100 chess games each and every game will have a senseless mistake, no matter how hard i try, it is simply impossible for me to avoid???
Also i suffer intilectual inconsistancy as well.... i remember years ago in school, my English teacher asked me in frustration why my assignments were brilliant one page and garbage the next? I had no answer for her??
Anyway, i basically live my life always on the lookout for fuckups, i do manage to anticipate to some degree, take preventative measures and generally try and adapt myself to function as a normal human being most of the time dispite the constant possibility of mistakes. I would never consider to try and ad up even the most simplest of calculations in my mind, i prefer to just pick up a calculator every time.... and my short term memory is virtually non existant, at work, colegues find it amusing that i leave my car keys in the fridge so i will be forced to remember to take my lunch box home after work.... and many more things like that.
I do not trust my mind, i have to oversee and double check and hold its hand all the time, and it is exahsting.