Recall

When All Else Fails Read The Directions

RECALL NOTICE: The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed 'Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality,' or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior

6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9 . Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of the se fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention! GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'........"Because HE Lives."

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And, of course, if you are a house painter and want to avail of the offer, because you have mixed paint with water and cheated your customers, you will have to repaint and thin no more.

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KFC Kickin For Christ

Join Date 11/2005

+93

love it Leauki!

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The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect,

I like you article KFC but you gonna have to forgive my confusion here. If God created man, would he not be responsible for the defect? I mean, he is God after all and he did not create us perfect obviously. You can't have it both ways KFC, you can't claim God to be the creator and then not fault him for a problem he created. That is how our world functions after all.

I do, however, see it differently. Maybe this is not a defect. Maybe we were created this way purposely. Maybe God intended for us to be this way to see how we could handle an imperfect life. Once created, we were given a set of rules to follow. Maybe Gods original plan was to see who could follow the rules and who couldn't. After all, if God did not intend to make us this way why does he forgiven then?

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KFC Kickin For Christ

Join Date 11/2005

+93

If God created man, would he not be responsible for the defect? I mean, he is God after all and he did not create us perfect obviously.

He did create us perfectly. If you notice, after creation God called everything good. We were perfect until we rebelled with that very first act in the garden. Sin is a contagious condition. We all inherited it.

Maybe this is not a defect. Maybe we were created this way purposely. Maybe God intended for us to be this way to see how we could handle an imperfect life. Once created, we were given a set of rules to follow. Maybe Gods original plan was to see who could follow the rules and who couldn't. After all, if God did not intend to make us this way why does he forgiven then?

I don't think you're far off but it's more like God takes the bad and turns it into something good. We weren't created sinful but God knew ahead of time that we would sin. That's different. That's called omnicience. He knows all and as our creator he knows full well what we're made of. Once created they only were given one rule that we know of. Don't eat of "that" tree.

God forgives us because we sinned. If we didn't there would be no need for forgiveness. Sin is basically rebellion against God. That's it.

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