Here I go again
secretly picking up
my favorite blade
and cutting myself
I don't know
what I'm chasing
but sometimes
I find it
perhaps someday
I'll no longer need
to pick at the scab
and feel the sting
as I tear
my beautiful brown skin open
to provide a canvas
for all this pain
sometimes
if the skin is intact
I will swallow it
in a shameful communion
"this is my body
broken by everyone"
and as the full rich red
slowly drips
down my forearm
I taste it
and am not surprised
that it is flavorless
"this is my blood
drink this in remembrance of me"
I replace my bandage
and roll down
my longsleeve shirt
and rejoin the party.
