AngelaMarie88

Join Date 01/2005

Are Public Schools best for Kids?

Another school year is upon us. Many have already started, but my 4-year-old's Pre-K is scheduled to start next week...or the week after, I can't remember.

I have so many questions.

1. I've heard it said that for children, Play is Work. That's fine. It makes sense enough. They learn science by playing with sand and water. They learn roles in society by observing life and then dressing up and acting like doctors, veteranarians, pilots. They play house. They play in their pretend kitchens. Fine.

2. I've also heard that for children, Work can be Play. I read in a Montessori book of one scene in which 3 & 4-year-olds were lined up along a kitchen counter, assembly line style, one washing dishes by hand, one drying, one putting them away. The writer said that children this age can be taught such types of work because they enjoy the repetition, structure, teamwork, and sense of accomplishment.

I guess it doesn't have to be one or the other. Kids can play. And kids can be taught to work without thinking it a drudgery.

But my quandry as I'm about to enter my firstborn child into the public school system (which I have a whole lot of qualms with) is...well, I have a lot of issues with public schools.

We visited the school at an open house yesterday. We chose this school which is farther away than the one he should be going to because the facilities and materials are so much nicer than the other. The open house was pretty casual. We pretty much showed ourselves around the school and there were two or three staffmembers in the entrance area ready to answer anyone's questions . We just headed straight for the Pre-K. My son wanted to play with blocks. So I sat down with him and we played. Then we played with the toy barn & animals. We could have played forever, but of course I knew that we were just there to "look around" and probably shouldn't have been messing with anything. But all the materials were gorgeous, brand-new, tailored to teach every fundamental subject such as music, art, construction, reading, listening, geography...

My son will probably be eager to play with everything when school starts, but I know better that in structured settings, all those toys just might be more of a tease than anything else. More time will probably be spent taking roll, getting the kids to sit down and be quiet, standing in straight lines, etc.

Call me a bohemian, but it's all that structure that bugs me.

I think every child deserves individualized attention from someone who knows and loves them. To be treated like a person rather than a number. In an individualized setting, there would be nothing like, "Sorry, it's not your turn to talk right now." Or, "Sit down!" Or, "I'm sorry you didn't get enough sleep last night, but school starts at 8am sharp. Suck it up."

I would love to home school. But for a bizillion reasons I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not cut out for it. It hurts me to have to admit that they'd be better off being treated as numbers in the Public School system than they would be at home with Mom who means well, but occasionally loses her patience, is hopelessly scatter-brained, and is scared of going out in public.

I can't help wondering if the public school system inhibits children's vast learning potentials in so many ways. I wonder if more time is spent getting the kids organized and keeping peace than is actually spent educating them?

But then of course it teaches children that there are many people in the world and they need to learn patience, standing in lines, sharing, cooperating. That's part of life.

I know a six-year old girl whose mom homeschools her, along with her 4-year-old brother, and then there's a new baby in the family too. The girl is learning a couple foreign languages with Rosetta Stone (a fantastic but expensive program that her parents purchased before it became free online through the library system!). She's up on history, religion, arithmetic. literature, music... And as far as socialization... I dunno, but her family is very involved in the community and church so I don't think the girl is isolated as much as opponents of homeschooling might imagine.

I dunno. If I could change the world, well first I'd be capable of homeschooling, but in a perfect world homeschooling wouldn't be necessary because we'd be more community-oriented, people would work together. We wouldn't need to dump our kids into public schools either to save our own sanity, with hopes to promote theirs.

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So, you're saying that you don't want to homeschool, you're not cut out for it - that's fine. That's why they made public schools. Just for you. That's the community working together.

What it sounds like you really want is all the benefits of homeschooling without having to do anything yourself.

One of the factors that makes homeschooling so much better is that the parent is actively involved in the child's life, and really cares about their schooling. How often do you see kids going off to public school, and they come home and show their parents their work and get shrugged off? With homeschooling, they know right away that at least one parent is excited and cares about their education, what they learned, etc.

Individual attention is great, but involvement of the parent will go pretty far even with public school.

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What it sounds like you really want is all the benefits of homeschooling without having to do anything yourself.

Wow, what side of the bed did you wake up on? I said no such thing, perhaps your mood made you read into something that wasn't there.

Your last two paragraphs were much more on target. Precisely how I feel on the topic.

Gotta go. I'm nursing my baby and trying to get my son into an activity.

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What it sounds like you really want is all the benefits of homeschooling without having to do anything yourself.

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As long as you care and take part in your child's education when they start going to school, then things will work out fine. Help with homework, or reinforce certain lessons that may seem troublesome. You only need to do this through elementary...then the kid should take off on their own. At least that's what happened with me...and that seems to have worked out rather well. I'm a sophomore at Miami University.

~Zoo

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"If I could change the world, well first I'd be capable of homeschooling, but in a perfect world homeschooling wouldn't be necessary because we'd be more community-oriented, people would work together. We wouldn't need to dump our kids into public schools either to save our own sanity, with hopes to promote theirs."

I got that from this paragraph. I must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. I apologize. What were you trying to say with that(above) paragraph?

"I would love to home school. But for a bizillion reasons I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not cut out for it. It hurts me to have to admit that they'd be better off being treated as numbers in the Public School system than they would be at home with Mom who means well, but occasionally loses her patience, is hopelessly scatter-brained, and is scared of going out in public."

That sounds like my wife, who plans on homeschooling. I'll let you know in 3 or so years how that goes.

Despite the bizillion reasons you aren't cut out for it, there's probably just as many to not send them to public schools. But in reality, I don't think it matters as much as long as you're involved.

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Did you speak to the teacher(s) at all and ask any questions? That would have been more helpful for you and allay some of your fears. That way you could also get a sense of the person you're speaking with to see how she answered or talked to you. You usually can tell how patient they are at that time. When your child first start out, of course you're going to be concerned. You're going to worry if the teacher will be as adept at handling your child, as I'm sure she will be, but will she put up with your child's idiosycracies the way you know how to.

That worried me a lot with my two older children when they first started out in public school and now with my third child who started public school last week. I was scared, she was scared, she was crying, I was crying...even after having been through it two times already, I was! I felt her fear and her anxiety, even though I reassured her that everything will be fine and you know she will be alright. I spent the day worrying about her, but when I picked her up, she was fine! And she loves her new school and her new teacher! I was worried even after speaking with the teacher who is experienced and adept at what she does.

My son was always shy and quiet, and he is sometimes. But I've watched him over the years as he's grown and how much better he is at handling friends, and whatever comes his way. All this experience he has learned through being in public school. While he learns the fundamentals at home, and I can tell him what to expect, but nothing beats experience! If you're concerned, do request to meet with the teacher and I'm sure she will make time for you.

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I think you are doing what is best for your kids. Homeschooling is a great idea and should be encouraged. On the other hand, if the parents "aren't cut out for it" then the kids are much better off in a good public school. I've known a lot of home school families and like most things, some did a graet job and some were awful.

The ones who are awful usually chose homeschooling because of some principle. Principles are important, but they don't teach kids math, science, history, music or social studies. The parents who weren't cut out for it, but continued anyway didn't do their kids any favors. The kids would have been better off as numbers.

You are putting your kids first instead of feeding your own ego. Looks like you are doing a great job of parenting.

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Zydor

Join Date 03/2006

+38

With 6.7 Billion on the Planet someone will be good at it - but I believe that for the most part, Parents should parent and Teachers teach. I've known many to grandly start down this track with substantial fanfare, only to collapse exhausted after 12 months, and go back to the local school after reality of teaching has given them a slap in the brain.

School is also not just about learning the study topics of the day - its about communing with others, association with friends (and not so friendly), dealing with real world problems caused by human beings. They cant get that protected and closeted all day at home - usually followed by 6 hours in front of TV or on-line. They can easily spend weeks at home, not see or talk to anyone outside their home, and also miss a host of collective activities such as, team sports, school outings, visits and lectures from external real life organisations and support groups, etc etc. Thats no preparation for the real world as an adult.

Exams are clearly very important, but there is more to school than that.

As always, many factors, but too little notice is often given to the missed opportunity to gain "life skills" at standard schools.

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[quoteExams are clearly very important, but there is more to school than that.

As always, many factors, but too little notice is often given to the missed opportunity to gain "life skills" at standard schools.[/quote]

Just out of curiosity, while extra curricular activities do provide for this, what of these social "life skills" occurs during the school day? Home schooled kids have opportunities to go to games, lectures, outings.. etc. During the school day socialization is discouraged, not encouraged. When it does happen, it is cliquish, with an emphasis on fashion and social standing, not "preparation for the real world as adults". Bowling for Soup was right!

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You mentioned reading a Montessori book...have you considered enrolling your little guy in a Montessori school?

I was talking to another Army wife last week who has taught in Montessori schools and it really sounds like it would be such a perfect fit for your family.

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If it were me, I'd keep my four -year old home with his family....where education moments are never at a loss.

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In answer to your initial question and title of your article, Are public schools best for kids?

In these days of relativism, I guess that would have to be decided by what the word "best" means.

In my honest opinion, the answer is NO. Today's public schools, on the whole, are not 'best' for our kids, neither on an academic or social level.

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My youngest goes to pre-k Angela. They get a lot of free activity time. So the toys you saw will def be played with. My son's pre-k class is like a play date in lots of ways....but with really creative games and toys! Heh.

Don't worry too much. If he doesn't like it you can take him out. I am not cut out to home school either. So what? That's why I'm not a school teacher!

This may have more to do with the fact your first child is leaving for school than actually school. Give it a chance...you may be happily surprised.

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"Today's public schools, on the whole, are not 'best' for our kids, neither on an academic or social level."

I second that.

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Jythier...your children are little, not school age, correct?

What is your experience with children and public schools?

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Correct.

I went to public school. I was a child.

I was in school when Columbine happened, I was in school when we continued to be interrupted due to bomb threat, shooting threats, etc. I knew a guy who wanted to do a copy-cat job. This was a GOOD school.

I can only imagine what they do at schools in the big cities.

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Uh-huh.

I also have experience being a man because I married a man and gave birth to two male children.

I think you are getting a little ahead of yourself in your condemnation of public schools considering your children are still infants/toddlers.

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You're right, I should wait 'til they've been killed to pull them out.

Or worse, 'til they've been taught that being gay is a-okay. In preschool.

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Yes, because that's what happens to all children who attend public school.

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I care about what happens to MY kids. So they won't attend public school. Now we'll never know what might have happened.

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Be sure not to let them play sports or get involved in Cub Scouts or any other activities. They might break a leg or get molested.

Do you have a padded room in your house? Maybe you can hold classes in there. Make sure you get rid of anything sharp like pencils and crayons. They can just imagine writing and coloring. Much safer and more wholesome that way.

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Texas Wahine, Jythier

You guys crack me up. I love to see people argue about exaggerations. Not trying to be mean, rude or a jerk, it's just bit funny.

Jythier:

As a father of 2 boys, one in 4th grade, take a chill pill dude. I too love my kids and wish no harm to come to them, but am more realistic at the idea that harm can come to them no matter what I do to safeguard them. I can only hope I do my best to keep them away from it as long as possible. Every food I buy, every time we get in the car, every toy they play with, every family member or person we consider friends; everything has a possibility of danger in it. I can only do my best to avoid it when I can and stop it when it before it happens. You can home school them if you want, but unless you are gonna keep them away from interacting with the rest of the world you can not garantee they will learn or be part of that you fear and think can keep away from your children.

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It's funny that I don't have experience with schools these days. Do I need to be a teacher? Do I need to be a principal? Do I need to have my kids go to school, to know that I don't want them to? You're saying I would have a better view of school by having my kids go, rather than going myself?

Yeah, and you have experience being a man because you married one.

As for other activities, when we're finished brainwashing them in their padded room with the imaginary pencils they won't even WANT to go outside the house. They will pine for their padding when they are away from it. That will keep them very safe, for the rest of their lives. Because that's what life is all about, being safe.

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You need to have your children go to school to unequivocally state that:

"Today's public schools, on the whole, are not 'best' for our kids, neither on an academic or social level."

It's one thing for that to be your personal choice for your own family and quite another for you to bash public schooling with some conjured up sense of authority on the matter.

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Parents should parent and Teachers teach.

Parents ARE the child's first teacher, zydor! And they are ALWAYS teaching their children whether or not a school system is present. What I find patently absurd is that we live in a world where, as long as someone's willing to stick it out in college for four years, we deem them fit to teach. There are some truly excellent teachers out there, but not everyone with a teacher's certificate is fit to do the job.

Angela,

You should be commended for evaluating what's best for your child. Many parents don't, and just assume the public schools to be best for their children without question. I've known many parents like you, parents who felt they couldn't homeschool, and who put their children in public school. What I encouraged them to do, and encourage you to do, is to make the home environment a rich learning environment. If you want your kids to have the best education, be active in it. Don't assume their learning ends when they leave the schoolhouse door, or leave for the summer. You can be a "homeschooler" even WITH your children in public schools...and in so doing, can offer them more than you ever dreamed possible.

In other words: there are ways to homeschool that don't necessarily fit the LEGAL definition of "homeschooling". And somehow, I feel that even if your children grow up in public schools, you will always be a homeschooler.

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