I'm brilliant. I usually get my brilliance late at night after cups of coffee. My revelations usually come in spurts, and at the most unsuspected times, when I'm so tired that I can't think straight. But would you believe it? It's the middle of the day and it came to me. Ideas do that; they just come to me, without me even having to form it. Most of the time I discard them without a second thought but this one sounded good, so I'm going to go with it.
So, maybe I'm not really brilliant, but just stick with me.
This is a theory, merely a theory, that love, in the romantic, opposite sex sense, has three stages, each progressing with time.
1. Love starts as an emotion.
I never believed you could love without any sacrafice on ones part. But, with this brilliant theory I have, you can love based only on feelings you have -- no strings attached. It's those fuzzies you get when you're around him or her. It's thinking about him or her when you're in class, daydreaming of their hand in yours. As love progresses these feelings and this stage doesn't go away, different aspects are only added.
You don't have to be dating the person in this first stage of love. I think my friend has this kind of love for someone. She doesn't show this love for him, it's merely in her heart, but she loves him in this sense. She has strong emotional feelings for him, even though he feels this way for someone else. On the other hand, often times these feelings are mutual. Some might describe this as "puppy love".
This is only the beginning of love though, and is a love which is not very profound or permenent, in and of itself.
2. Love grows into an action, a sacrafice.
This second stage of love is something deeper, diving further into the waters. It may not always be pleasant, but you do it anyway. In the sense of sacrafice, it may be only temporary, but it is a sacrafice.
In this stage, mutual feelings are important, but not essential. I find it easier to sacrafice and put his needs above my own if he will love me back. But that's not what it's about. On the contrary, it's about giving without expecting anything in return. Always thinking what works best for them. Knowing you would cry, hard, if you never saw this person again. Knowing they made an impact in your life, somehow. Having the kind of love for them that Jesus had for us. Knowing what 1 Corinthians 13 really means.
3. Love is perfected through a lifetime commitment.
This is a love I've never experienced. I'm not ready to dedicate myself to anyone for a lifetime. But I will share what I want it to look like when I'm ready. This is a love that never falls in ruins. This is true love. You've found the one, the one you're ready to spend the rest of your life with, your soulmate.
You don't (or hopefully don't) lose that first stage of love. Hopefully everytime he buys you a rose you still get those feelings. It doesn't get old, everytime she kisses you. And, sacrafice is still essential in getting through the hard time.
True love is really for better or worse. If your mate is in an accident and needs 24 hour care and has no legs or arms, you'll be there for him or her. This is the most selfless love in the three stages. It means not backing down when you're ready to kill them. Even when doubting the sacrafice you made, you know you couldn't be without them. This means loving them in the most intimate way -- Being fully known and knowing someone fully: spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Sarah
