Gosh I keep finding great points up there that I didn't see before:

I just can't see how it's wrong for him to spend money on something that will benefit the entire family,

Yes that camera was a thoughtful thing for the whole family, but we already had one that would have sufficed. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if we had the money for it, but to put such an expensive item on credit knowing full well that we do not and will not have the money to cover that any time soon is not the best judgment.

when just recently Angela took them on a trip for something far more superfluous that ate up their discretionary money for the month.

Yup Tex it was a crazy thing we did a couple weeks ago. Before we went, hubby & I discussed it, agreed on it, made a plan, and stuck to it. We knew it was nuts, but we went about it as responsibly and frugally as possible. And we did it with real cash. Not credit. I know I seem like a total hypocrite but somehow in my mind that trip seemed justifiable enough to endure a couple weeks of hardship (it wasn't that bad after all). A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see her in the womb. And I'll be honest, we spent precisely $300 on that entire trip. Not much discretionary money, so I guess we might as well have spent it on something that would last a lifetime. My husband didn't complain, he was equally excited about the sonogram. Our little boy never knew anything was unusual, because fundamentally nothing really was.

And why is it ok to put chocolate, fast food, and a printer cartridge (none of these items being necessary) on the credit card, but a camera is off-limits?

As for Friday's credit card splurge at AAFES (just short of $50), it started with me needing some new panties (sorry TMI) but I couldn't find any that were right. So I felt good for not buying anything. ("See? I just saved money by not buying what I came here for.") Then hubby wandered over into the children's clothing section and I followed. He picked up some diapers for the new little girl, then he wandered a bit more and found the perfect newborn girl outfit. He held it up for me to see...I was mean at first ("We don't need that!") but then I studied it closer and it really was perfect. So we just had to get that too. And then there was the chocolate: at home I'd told him I'd come out with him only if I could have some chocolate. Just me being childish really. But then we had all these things in the basket...we were on a roll...I reminded him that our printer has been useless for awhile since the black ink cartridge died. So he went and got a new one. Then he picked up a roll of plastic sheeting to cover our windows at home against the cold winter drafts. Another $10 there. Then we picked up our little boy from preschool and ...what the heck, let's go to Taco Bell.

I think the general mood we fell into was, "We've been living so frugally lately, let's splurge just a little, nothing huge." It's not like we were charging a plasma tv or anything.

So those little charges, although they did add up, were agreed upon by both of us. His secret camcorder charge however was a big shocker to me. That's a lot of money that will take us months to pay off.

Yes, it was wrong of him to lie about the purchase, BUT he shouldn't feel like he needs to lie about buying something. The fact that he feels he must is a sign that something is amiss.

True. He does fear me a bit because I fly off the handle sometimes when I perceive something dreadful is happening. I can be a bit maniacal sometimes. That's definitely something amiss. I would fear me too. I'm trying to get rid of that huge character flaw; I've had it all my life; my mom used to yell and scream at us, then I'd yell and scream at my brother...and now my husband is the recipient of my wrath that I got from my mother. *Sigh* Well now that I've pinpointed that and written it out I can start to recognize my anger for what it is...and start to change.

Yay! This has been another JoeUser therapy session for me! And it was free! (Notwithstanding the cost of our internet connection. We just can't get rid of this.)

I'm definitely done with this article now. I've beaten this horse to death. I just wanted to try to touch on as many of your comments as I could. Thanks Locamama & FS & Dr. Guy & Sean Conners & jennifer & adnauseum...your comments weren't inflammatory so they slid comfortably into my mind without riling me up Didn't mean to ignore you.

the end *whew*

This is John the Husband. All this talk about how I may have done something wrong. I remember one time earlier this year when I was at work she took the card and went to get a PS2 without permission, all told with a game and 2 dacnce pads she spent over $200. Now, the PS2 never gets used. A camera on the other hand will be used to take great pictures of our children. I researched it for a long time and while it's not the most absolute current style, it does meet all our needs now (if Angela can figure out how to use it correctly). She doesn't understand that you have to sit still, for a little while, when using a "still" camera. She gets upset about the flash, our other camera doesn't even use its flash. Oh and the new red eye reduction thingy pisses her off even more than me spending money, but the pictures come out better that lifelike she says. I have no problem using "my" card to help our credit score. I pay more than enough on the card monthly so that the interest built isn't outrageous. I take care of the family and we live comfortably, it's not always my decision to spend money the way we do. Sometimes, when I do try to save money, I remember Angela saying something to the effect "money is meant to be spent", of course, I'm sure that if she read this she would inform me that my memory is faulty and that I was the one who said that. I'm sure that once she reads this she'll come to me and say something like "So, you know how to put letters together to make words and sentences, eh?" She makes me feel bad everyday so that I do what I can to make her happy, and it just turns out to me being a "go for" boy, a butler. Like she's said before, we're not married, we're cohabitating, so what does it matter if I spend my own money if she's just a roommate?

Sorry you didn't read on little whip. I thought you were so big on reading the entirety of threads. Caught you jumping the gun!

Our marriage is pretty solid, despite what little tidbits we throw out there that may make it seem otherwise. We're not going to become a statistic. Our little girl will be well-provided for and very loved by all of us throughout her entire life.

Sorry what you've seen of the world causes you some bitterness toward society, but our little lives will be all right. We're among those that create the happy statistics that rarely make the news

I most certainly can't tell someone not to use a credit card if they feel they need to use it for certain purchases.  After all, I've been down that road myself, and use a credit card to buy today that which I couldn't afford until several tomorrows had passed.

With that said, if you find that you are leaning on a credit card too much then you really have no choice but to cut back on expenses and do the best you can to tighten up the spending until you really can afford to buy what you need, when you need it, along with occassionally buying something you *want* and don't particularly need along the way.

Don't over spend your budget.  It will dig you into a horrible hole.  If you aren't making progress paying down your debts as you go, or at least if you aren't keeping the debt from growing out of control, then you have to cut back and *wants* are the first thing that has to go.  Get things under control as soon as you can, avoid buying things that you don't have immediate needs for, and get your debts to a manageable level and then buy what you want to go with what you needed.

Credit cards are way too easy to use at the wrong times, and credit card companies are only too nice about letting you have more credit to use than you can really afford.  Be careful, try not to over spend, and try to keep yourself on a tight leash about when you use the cards.  Don't "reward" yourself for saving money somewhere, and don't let yourself go out and splurge just because you had a little extra money available.  Wait until you've built up a nice pile of money and are making well more than the minimum payments to your credit cards and then you'll be in much better shape for avoiding financial disaster.

Hope you and your husband works things out as far as this situation is concerned. Also, let us know if you need a few things for the baby. I thought it was nice of loca and kfc to offer some things.

Like she's said before, we're not married, we're cohabitating, so what does it matter if I spend my own money if she's just a roommate?

(reply 29, from the 'husband.')