In order to preserve a more perfect record of the terrible, terrible things I say on a regular basis I am going to post them here, in writing. 

A note for children who may read this:

Grownups have jobs. They spend a lot of time at those jobs and over time they become friends with the people they work with. As a result, they may say things to one another with humor. This is called banter.  Banter is humorous discussion shared between friends that when taken out of context can sound horrible.

Episode 1:

Brad is the CEO of Stardock.  Kristin is Stardock’s general manager (the #3 spot in the entire company, #2 held by Angela Marshall, the COO). Long ago, she was a technical writer. Long ago, Brad had a job that involved cleaning “stuff” off mechanical shovels that repaired sewers.  Many episodes will touch on these topics.

Kristin: I have dreams you know! Dreams of success!

Brad: Well, if you ever want to be more than a technical writer you better get that email process document done soon!

Kristin: My dreams go far, far beyond that!

Brad: Senior Document Technician?

Kristin: Even more?

Brad: Executive, Senior Document Technician?

Kristin: Maybe…

Brad: Well that job is reserved for a MAN. Not some future baby making factory!

(a pause)

Kristin: I’m calling dibs on your desk.

Kristin (to viewers): And that kids, is how *I* became the owner of Stardock.