I am a stay-at-home mom.  I personally think that whatever leads you to raising a family isn't a waste.  If nothing else, college gives you more life experiences and a better sense of who you are.  I think that a college degree also lasts as a woman's option to get a job if need or want be at any point.

I often wonder how many women of my mom's generation stayed in an unhappy marriage simply because they felt trapped.  What else could they do after having no college education and raising kids for a couple of decades?  Or how many men left/leave their wives because they feel they have so many more life experiences than their wife and therefore can't relate with each other?

I also think that college education prepares a person to parent in ways nothing else can.  But that is just my opinion and I biased one at that since I got a degree that I have never technically used.  I got married 1 month after graduation, spent our first couple of years of marriage helping get my husband's software company going and have been mommy full time for the past almost 12yrs now.

I resent the "all they are doing".  For those fortunate enough to afford it, a stay at home parent (a friend - male is the one who is staying home) is vastly preferred to both parents working.  They have not wasted their education.  I am sure many use it in their chosen vocation, and once the children are grown, they can then pursue a career outside the house.

To me there is no such thing as a  wasted education, whether you are a mom or anyone else.

I have to say that my wife’s college education is a huge plus and extremely beneficial everyday of her stay at home mommy-hood.  Nothing prepares you any better for dealing with three (nearly) two year olds than having to deal with a bunch of whiney liberally biased professors. 

On top of that she was architecture major so she is going to be crazy good at building popsicle stick houses.

She has talked about finishing her education after the kids get a little older. But, neither of us agrees that she should pursue the final couple of semesters to a general studies degree while the children have the option of staying home. 

My opinion on the general topic is that we are all given a path to follow. It's what makes you happy that counts. For some women being a stay at home mom is as fulfilling as a career in big business. There's no doubt in my mind that those moms make a dramatic impact on the world we all live in.

Wasted? Nope.

I have a good friend whose wife, a stay-at-home mom, has a MD (or PhD?) in audiology.  She had  incredibly tough pregnancies and wants to cherish all the time possible with her children. She recently went to work part time, supplementing the family income while her husband was "between careers".  Yet she's still raising their three kids while he returns to college at 36 years old.  So it was a darn good thing she's got all this here larnin' -- otherwise they'd be out of luck while her husband retrains.

I've always been a firm believer in the saying;

Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire!

So, is it a waste? Actually, for some it is.

Notice that I didn't isolate that to stay at home moms, this applies to everyone who pursues education. The onus is on the individual to determine how fruitful or pointless their education will be.

When I was in college I saw the whole spectrum as I'm sure others have as well.

There were kids right out of high school who were taking classes simply so they could continue to live at home for free- because mom and dad had told them that if they didn't go to post secondary they would have to get a job and pay their own way. For many of these kids, it was a complete waste because they didn't understand what they were doing and didn't really learn anything from the experience and most importantly they didn't care. They were just happy that they were avoiding the move to adulthood. Yes, they went to class, at least most of the time and usually passed their courses but it was of absolutely zero benefit to them. Some of them, however, woke up part way through and discovered higher learning and hard work and all that feel-good motivational poster stuff, and for them it definitely was not a waste.

There were single moms working two part time jobs, looking after their kids and losing sleep to study in the quiet hours of the night so they could make the grade. They definitely understood why and what they were there for, but the circumstances of their life really made it difficult to succeed and you couldn't help but feel for them.

There were also dads doing the same thing, but I noticed most of the dads were in a relationship whereas a LOT more of the moms were single. Not being biased, just an observation. This changed the dynamic a lot- whereas the single moms had the weight of the world on their shoulders and had to do EVERYTHING, the dads tended to have more pressure/troubles keeping their relationships going and communication problems with their spouses.

Anywho, for both the moms and dads, single or otherwise, it definitely wasn't a waste!

Then there was the "entitled" crowd, as I believe Tova has documented quite well in her postings about her current experience. These are the kids who are generally pretty smart and get good grades without even trying, but are incredibly stuck up and believe that the instructor and classes have been tailored entirely for them. It's quite interesting to see what happens when one of these folks gets a C or D on an exam and the hissyfit they throw, sometimes even dragging their parents into the fray. For some of these wizz-kids, yes, it too is a waste because according to them they already know it all anyway. This is sometimes legitimate but mostly not!

We have a tendency to think the only purpose of a college education is to get a high paying job.  Really the point of getting a college education should be to be educated.  No, I don't think it's wasted but I do think that educated stay-at-home mom's might want to consider working part time to keep their skills current.  I wish that I would have at least worked a couple of days a week even while my boys were little.  Of course, that's just a generalization because I don't have a college degree.  It's just an observation on the general state of being a stay at home mom.  And while I'm generalizing I will again say that I feel that caring for children is woefully underappreciated in our society.  It is an important job and shouldn't be treated so dismissively. 

Wasted education? where would they have FOUND husbands (with a good education and the capability to support a family) if NOT in college? It is a glorified match making service.

Sacarsm aside, there is also the plus side that on hard times the mother can go out and work to help supplement the family income. (which means sending the children to daycare, but this IS for tough times), or she can work as well when the children are a bit older.

Reproduction is the ULTIMATE goal of any living being. Not reproducing for something as frivolous as a college degree and a job means you have wasted your entire life.

wow--haven't heard those sentiments voiced in a long time.  Hats off to you taltamir.  Of course you realize that the implications are far reaching.

I have a masters in counseling and am a stay at home mom.  I am in the process of raising 6 children, the 4 youngest are adopted.  When people ask what I do, I always joke that I am retired as I retired my private practice 12 years ago to raise the kids.

Truthfully, raising my children has been the most challenging thing I have ever done.  My young ones came with life long issues that we have needed to face as a family.  It has required me to learn inovative parenting skills, parent and family advocate skills, how to manage myself in very difficult circumstance and how to keep from burning out over the long haul.  In order to provide for my kids needs, I have learned how to run and manage our farm, have become an excellant horse woman, all to teach them in an environment where they can thrive.  My skills in conflict resolution and communication have increase exponentially and I have read volumes on child development, bonding and attachment. 

Honestly, pursuing my career would have been much easier because the demand placed on me by my family (by the way I have an excellent husband) has required not only further study/learning but also personal growth that an occupation would not have.

I guess what I am saying is that, parenting and education, are not mutually exclusive.  I have easily gotten as much education in the raising of my kids as I did in school AND I have grown tremendously as a person.  So, parenting, for me, has been continuing education.

joa

I don't think that education is ever wasted.  However, I think this statement is quite bold and not always true:

I've done both.  I worked.  I then stayed home for 8 months, and then I went back to work.  Having two full time working adults while raising a child (we have only one due to the fact that we both work) is not a cake walk.  When I stayed home, I could grocery shop in the day, clean house, do laundry and do all the other things that you can do when you are home.  Now that I work full time outside the home, when I return from work, guess what?  I'm still "Mom".  I still take care of my daughter, cook, clean, grocery shop, etc, but I have to do it in the few hours that I have left in the day or weekend.  I no longer can get everything done during the week so that we can just enjoy the weekends.  Your work doesn't go away at home just because you're not there

So, to say that staying home is 4 times harder is really not always the case.  I chose to return to work, but it definitely wasn't because it was easier than staying home.  Now, if my daughter was special needs or I had 4 or 5 kids, then the work increases.  If I had an easier job, that would change the scales, too.  So, that blanket statement just doesn't fit.  Saying that it is equal would be more accurate in my view.

As parents, education is never wasted.  The more you are educated, the better you can help your kids learn.  And, kids are only kids for 18 years.  They eventually go to college and need tuition.  Having an education so that you can return to the work force and help them financially is also a good thing.

Really?  If I don't have kids, I've wasted my entire life?

Why is it necessary to belittle the choices of others to make yourself feel better about your own choices?  Isn't it about time that we respect that everyone has different goals and dreams and therefore chooses to live their lifes differently.  Are you telling me that if you don't have offspring, your life isn't worth living?  Geez, I hope it isn't as drastic as that.

I think that people need to do what works best for their life and their situation -- sometimes it's being a stay at home parent, sometimes it's working outside the home -- there is a value in both.

Karma . . for a small fee I can muck out the barn. 

The worst mistake men ever made was to allow women to join them in the workplace.

We should have handed it over to them completely!