Are you having an affair or are you thinking about having one? I'm aiming this short blog at men but some of the rules apply to women too. It takes two to have an affair remember!
Recently a close member of my family had an affair and the result has proved to be heart-breaking, soul-searching and resulted in fragile attempts to keep the marriage together. Some marriages survive affairs-others don't. Some loving partners get over it and get on with their lives. Some don't. It takes a brave lady or man to forgive but they'll never forget. Trust may be fragile for years. Survival depends on that trust and that's been dealt a shattered blow. Survival depends on children too as they are the little victims. Many a marriage has been saved because of the children. And some not.
I digress. Unless you are are completely stupid, dick-headed and prepared to risk EVERYTHING, you should avoid the colleague who has better boobs than Dolly Parton, wears skirts up to her navel , has legs like Elle McPherson and pants in short breaths when you approach her at the coffee machine. Switch off buddy. Join the Gentleman's club.
The Gentleman's club rules are strictly for those men (and they apply to women too), who find the need to follow their hormones rather than their brains; those who are bored, have pregnant wives or get a hard on seeing Megan Fox or David Beckham naked. I'm trying humour but the rules are pretty serious:
1. Don't crap on your own doorstep---the smell will haunt you forever (id. colleagues are out of bounds.)
2. Follow the 100 mile rule. Don't sleep with anyone inside that boundary. Pay the lady.
3. Don't sleep with anyone more than once. Pay the lady.
4. Never, ever tell. You will be expelled from the club.
5. Taking all the above into account, always pay for your lover. This is the most important rule.
6. Go home, smirk in the mirror and be a good husband.
I've never joined the club so who told me these things? A guy with a permanent smile on his face and a happy wife.
