Mugz, a good blog mate. I’ve got a few things to share on this one.
About 4 or 5 years ago, I went through a phase when I was happiest being single. I liked my own space, and a relationship was the last thing I wanted. This phase lasted for about three years. However, I’m a red-blooded male. Pressing needs and desires inevitably build up for a twenty-something lad, especially when there’s no form of ‘release’, so to speak.
You've made a good point about the dilemma between one-night stands and paying for a prostitute. I personally learned from experience that one night stands are too costly, for the other person’s feelings. Maybe it depends on the girl, and also on yourself. But I think that deep down, most girls are looking for romance and something ‘more’ than sex, even if they say they aren’t. There must be girls around who look for sex only, but I happened to encounter the other kind, (about three girls in all).
Even though I was open and honest with them from the start, and made it clear that “I’m not looking for a relationship”, they got clingy. Afterwards, they would want to know why I didn’t phone them, or why I wasn't interested in seeing them again. They took the ‘one-night only’ issue personally.
At first, I thought they were out of line. After all, I’d been open with them from the outset, and had told them that I didn’t want a relationship of any kind. However, it soon dawned on me that it was my behaviour that was ‘out of line’. I should have been aware that they were searching for more.
Now, for years I’d heard my friends talk or joke about a ‘massage parlour’ in town, which was apparently for “adults only”. I had always looked down upon such places, and thought of them as “immoral”. But now my feelings were shifting. I felt intrigued, and wanted to see what it was like to visit one. So I went. And it was great.
I never had full sex with any of the girls, believe it or not, even though it was readily available. Rather, I went for the ‘massage and extras’ option, which lasted between half an hour to an hour, (depending on how much you paid - £50 per half hour). And it always ended up with a nice ‘release’. This might sound seedy, but it wasn’t. The place was pleasant, and the girls were polite, and most of them attractive. The service was just what I was looking for.
So to cut a long story, the point is, visiting prostitutes at that phase of my life, (which went on for a period of two years, once every month or two), was most certainly the “right” thing. Was it immoral? Not at all. It might have been immoral through the eyes of other people, but not through mine. Nobody was getting hurt, and both people knew the score, with no hidden agendas. One-night stands, however, from my experience, were far more “immoral”. So what about the other option - being patient, and waiting for the right time when I ready for a relationship? Well, I simply wasn’t ready for that. I was too young, and needed more experiences under my belt. In short, I had some growing up to do.
Eventually, my whore-visits came to an end, mainly because I met a lass and had a one-year relationship, which ended mutually simply because it ran its course. I’m single again now, but choose not to visit prostitutes, because for me now, resisting whores adds to my own personal development and exercises self-control. Now I'm going to be patient. So it’s gone full circle. If I were to visit a massage parlour again, I would feel that I’ve let myself down. For this reason alone, visiting whores would be “immoral”. But only a few years ago, it was just what the doctor ordered!
As to the issue of meeting a woman who might object to my past experiences, to the extent that she might think less of me, then it would indicate that she wasn't the right girl for me anyway.
Sorry to waffle on Mugz, but you’ve got a good blog here. My personal opinion is that the answer depends on the individual, and depends on 'where we are' in our own life.
