Sometimes You Just Gotta Let Go
when caring becomes a pain in the ass
By little-whip
Posted Friday, August 17, 2007 on little whip's lair
Discussion: Blogging
I have recently cut ties with another blogger here, and will no longer be following their life story or interacting with them. Now, this blogger would have you believe that it's because they don't 'bow down' and follow my unsolicited advice (advice one doesn't agree with is always 'unsolicited', btw, even if offered in response to an article that's plainly asking 'what do you think i should do?') but that's not the case.
No, there are other reasons, like how that advice is recieved (whether followed or not) that piss me off. Many people blog for validation purposes, ie: "This is what I think, lets see if anyone agrees with me" sort of stuff, and this blogger has been the queen of such queries. Anyone suggesting that Blogger may not be making the best choices is met with thinly veiled (and sometimes open) hostility, and any options presented are shut down in half the than the time it took to express them.
Case in point, said blogger (and spouse) has been asserting the ridiculous all week, that there are absolutely NO rental properties in the area they wish to live, none, zero, zilch, nada, so Blogger was looking for someone else to validate Blogger's desire to purchase another home. When i refused to offer such validation, and in fact, disagreed vehemently with the idea, I was told that if I 'couldn't handle it' I was free not to comment on their blog anymore.
When I decided to take advantage of the offer to 'go away' I was then accused of trying to start some sort of 'pity party' for myself. WTF? The day I need pity for scratching a blog off my 'must read' list is the day I'll quit coming here. In fact, the accusation is as absurd as blogger trying to convince their readers that they just HAD to buy another home because by golly, there were NO RENTALS in town.
Well guess what, blogger DID find a rental after all. There WERE suitable places to rent, blogger just hadn't found one yet, after two whole weeks of searching. Hmm, many readers had been suggesting that blogger keep looking, that blogger not give up, that blogger not give in to the desire to purchase another home so soon...and those readers, including myself, were right. We KNEW that two weeks worth of looking wasn't long enough to justify giving up and taking on another back-breaking debt in the form of a high-interest trailer mortgage, but see, that wisdom, that good advice, was not what blogger wanted in the first place. What blogger wanted was support for the bad decision they WANTED to make.
Blogger will never, ever get that from me, so when I was invited to leave, I took Blogger up on the offer. End of story. (no pity needed.)
Sometimes, we just have to look at the overall enjoyment we're getting (or not getting) out of a relationship and make a decision as to whether or not the time and effort put into it is worth the return. Over the past couple of years, I have interacted with Blogger quite a bit. We started out rocky, but things really went to hell when Blogger began suffering from a mental illness that could be plainly observed in their writing, by everyone BUT Blogger. Blogger was very sick, and Blogger was the last one to realize it.
I became more than a little concerned due to the fact that Blogger works with other people's children. Blogger seemed ready to snap under the strain, and for that reason I began to put a lot of MY emotional energy into chasing Blogger around with a mirror, trying to get this person to see themself , to see what I saw, to see what everyone else saw, and understand what was happening to them.
Blogger soon began to hate me for it, but my efforts eventually paid off. Blogger sought help, and when Blogger returned to their senses, they actually thanked me for the wake-up call. Ever since then, I've taken an interest in Blogger's life, followed their blog, and offered assistance whenever I could, from professional mortgage advice (advice that thousands of homeowners --and potential homeowners--have paid me good money to hear in the past) to simple 'hugs' when tragedy and death struck close to home.
But no more. When I get the reaction I mentioned above in response to the considerable effort I've put into this blog-lationship, I had to ask myself if it was worth it, if I even cared enough to continue this interaction. The simple answer is no.
Not only have I had about enough of these sorts of reactions (it's far from the first time, although Blogger has toned the method down a bit, having in the past preferred the temper-tantrum followed by the slamming door, ie: 'You guys are right, I'm wrong, I'm stupid, you win, so there, I'm leaving, happy now?' sort of response, but I've had MORE than enough of Blogger's Spouse.
Blogger's Spouse has always made my skin crawl, there is something so inherently creepy about Spouse that it really, honestly disturbs me to think that Spouse also worked with children. Obviously, Spouse's employers found Spouse as creepy as I have, for everywhere Spouse has set foot to work with children, Spouse has NOT been invited back to work with them the following year.
Spouse is a disgusting, self-centered, conceited, irresponsible, excuse-making, know-nothing LOSER who is utterly convinced of their own superiority, and twice as convinced that they know it ALL. Spouse has, in the past, asserted that even those dying of terminal illness be forced to work until they draw their last breath, because everyone who collects Social Security is just faking anyway. Spouse told us all how EASY it is to qualify for such benefits, in spite of never experiencing the misfortune of needing to apply for them theirself. (Yeah, that's why over 90% of these claims are denied upon first application, and require the services of an attorney to collect. It's easy. Anyone can get it. Uh-huh.)
Spouse has, in the past, informed the world that the parents of the children Spouse worked with were total idiots and had no idea how to properly raise their brats, despite the fact that Spouse has never raised a child of their own. Spouse has been to COLLEGE to learn how children should be treated, and therefore Spouse's wisdom in the matter is not to be questioned by lowly, uneducated, ignorant parents. How dare they?
Spouse has argued on these forums that collective punishment is an appropriate disciplinary technique for very young children, that punishing an entire class for the misbehavior of one child is just hunky-dorey, because the rest of the class should keep the miscreant in line FOR Spouse, so Spouse can spend hours blogging while collecting a paycheck. (thanks, taxpayers!)
I could go on and on, but Spouse isn't worth it.
Marrying Spouse was the BIGGEST mistake Blogger has ever made, and there were lots of us on JU who begged Blogger not to do it, telling Blogger they were worthy of better, but of course, Blogger was looking for validation and nothing else. To my knowledge, not a single poster here was willing to offer this validation, Spouse is THAT despicable and we all see it. Too bad Blogger doesn't.
But Blogger insisted, so we gritted our teeth and hoped for the best. Of course, it isn't happening for them, Spouse can't even hold a job for more than a year, and Spouse's behavior has hurt Blogger's career too, Spouse is SO grotesque, arrogant, and obnoxious that their last employer fired the BOTH of them due to Spouse's bullshit. But it's not Spouses fault, you see. Nothing ever is. It's just that no one else recognizes how superior Spouse is! This inability to hold a job for longer than a single season has caused Blogger and Spouse to move cross-country pretty much every year, incurring the stress and considerable expense of moving each time, yet Spouse continues to insist they make huge payments on a very expensive toy that's only used on occasion.
Poor Blogger?
Nah. Blogger assures us that Blogger knows best, and that the accumulated wisdom and knowledge which Blogger could avail themselves of here is just so much hot air. And if I can't 'deal with that' then I can just skedaddle. When I tried to do just that, I was accused of trying to inspire some sort of pity party for myself, which is not only bizarre, but arrogant beyond belief. I lost my temper momentarily and called Blogger a 'bitch.' For that, I apologize.
But you can keep your pity, Blogger. I'm in no need of it nor was I seeking any. But you just aren't worth the time it takes to type out responses anymore, you neither appreciate the effort nor respond with any grace. Save your pity for yourself, and your equally pathetic Spouse. As the years go by, I become more and more convinced that you deserve each other.
And don't bother to respond here, Blogger. Same to you, Spouse. I am no longer interested in dialogue with either one of you, and your responses will be deleted. Save it for your own blog, where I won't have it thrust in front of my face, because I honestly do not have enough energy to give a shit anymore.
Goodbye, and good luck with your life. You're going to need it. |
