Ouch on the ankle. Isn't that the worst moment when you realize that isn't the ground - oh my crap. I twisted my ankle over two years ago and it's still swollen. Ugh. Can I be the princess of klutz people? I don't care who my subjects are as long as I get to be a princess.

Admit you don't like the internet guy cause Tex said he looked like a douchebag. Just tell him I'm not that into you. Be brutal. If you try to be nice, he will end up sending you flowers daily and stalking you.

I don't know, I kind of like this. Especially the "unrealistic picture of our relationship can only lead to further delusions of intimacy" part. That's just plain impressive.



That depends... I need to hear a few more accident stories before I can make my decision. However, if you've got the right tales, I think something can be arranged.



"Hey Bobo. Sorry, but I don't feel like talking to you anymore because several people on my blog site said you look like a sleazy, creepy douchebag. After considering what they said, I decided they are right. You give me the creeps. I don't want to cuddle you, or kiss you, because I've never even met you. Your unrealistic picture of our relationship can only lead to further delusions of intimacy that I am unwilling to deal with in the future. Begone!"

I think this will work out nicely... don't you?

No, my problem is that I don't think I could be that mean. In fact, I feel bad because I know he really likes me, and I have been encouraging him somewhat -- though not to the extent that he's gone. I've tried to tell him to slow it down a few times, you know, wait until we've met, but he always comes back with "I'm not worried about meeting you." type thing. He seems to think that I'm saying that I'm worried he won't like me if we meet. He doesn't realize that I might not like him, or, if he does, he isn't letting on. I have to figure out how to do this, do it right so I don't feel bad.

Maybe I'll just avoid him and never answer his calls, emails, or texts until he gets the hint... kidding, kidding. Even I'm not that evil.

Good thing you're kidding, or you'd probably end up with a stalker on your hands. My second thought was to say, "I went to your place to meet you and your wife answered the door, you douchebag!" But that would probably translate to him trying to contact you to tell you it's all a misunderstanding. Bonus points for using this if he hasn't given you his address, just add "I tracked you down and went to your place..." etc. That might work, actually.

Or, you could go the Barney route. Send him an email with "Dumped" in it. Nothing else.

I'm trying to think of a not-mean way to break up with someone. I do not have that talent, or it is impossible. "Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected. Even if you've only gone together for a short time, and haven't been too serious, there's still a feeling of rejection when someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company."

Ah, Nada Surf, your wise words will live on forever.

So no matter what you say, there will be hurt and rejection. Very sad. But, name-calling need not enter into it. You can keep the 'Begone!' because I think it fits your Queen image.

Good advice.

Guys all want the girls with the big ... video game collection. See, you always have to be wondering... is he going to up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-Start on me?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Penny Arcade reference. Voted Best Code EVER.

That's before my time.

The one I put in was the first ever code cracked on a home system, the cheat for 100 lives in the (impossible) game Contra on the original NES.

Man, I hated that game. I couldn't even make it past level 8 with my stupid 100 lives.

Are you the Edwina?  If so, maybe you should hook up with the guy.  One date, and you will know whether he is for real or a player!