8 months we've been dating. Over year ago we tried to get together but I'm not sure either of us were ready for it, and he wasn't that trustworthy back then. But I think he is now, really I do. I've always said that my worst fear is my boyfriend cheating on me and me not knowing it. Really, in a relationship, that's my worst fear. I'd feel so naive and stupid.
So my boyfriend called me last night, like he does once in a while. His computer is down so we couldn't talk there. We actually talked until almost midnight. And he's always such a sweetie. Things have been so good between us lately. I hope I'm not being fooled, really I hope not. So he's telling me how someone started a rumour that he screwed some chick named Carla on Friday night. Now, I guess he didn't leave his house, really, at all the rest of the weekend cuz he was supposed to be home doing chores. So I guess this romour spread online? He must talk to a bunch of people who brought it up, online. But wasn't his computer down? Oh, who knows... I just wish I could let it go and trust him. So, he's telling me how he took two people home Friday night after this bonfire... one guy and then this chick, Carla. I asked him who he dropped off first, blah blah. He said the guy, because it was most convenient driving-wise. It made sense. I'm glad I don't go to public school, with all these romours goin' around. He has this really good friend, Kim, who I never talk to, but he said that she said she was going to tell me about that Friday night or something. Now, I'm thinking, if they know each other so well, and are that great of friends, why wouldn't she know that he wouldn't do this? It didn't make sense to me, but I just accepted it. I wasn't sure how she'd get in touch with me anyway.
I wasn't worried, not a bit; really, I wasn't. Rumours happen in schools, obviously, things get said etc, for whatever reason people start things. So, like I said, I wasn't worried... until just a couple minutes ago.
One of my good friends, Emily, just called. Ya know? "How's it goin?" blah blah. We don't talk much so I wondered why she called me. It didn't occur to me why until she said, "the reason I'm calling is because I heard something today." Then I knew it, but wasn't that worried yet. I'm just like sweet, it spread over this 2,600 student body. Woop-dee-doo. Then she's telling me how she talked to Kim, his good friend, and how she was saying that he's been cheating on me all along, but she didn't think it was her place to say anything, but it's gotten out of hand or something like this. I pretended not to be worried as I added her email address back to my MSN, but I was. But, she seems like a decent girl (I've met her a couple times) and I see no motivation for her to make crap up. She has a boyfriend, so mine says, and has never been flirtly around mine, when I've been there anywho. What scared me is the "all along" part. He's been cheating all along. What the hell? Last night he asked me if I fully trusted him.... we ask each other random questions often, so it wasn't anything new... especially after the "romour" and I was like "well, yeah, I do." not completely sure of myself, but confident enough. There's no way he's been cheating, but what's all the shit with Kim, then? Ahh, stupid, stupid, stupid...... I'm so confused.... I'm going to email Kim right now... even though it's weird I have to get details, and she knows him well.
I need advice! I've never been in this boat before.... can anyone help me out?
Sarah
