I have read parts of it throughout my life, but I never found it to be compelling.
oh, I thought you said you haven't read it since you were a kid? Anyhow...trying praying first.
how the Church may have altered his teaching to serve their own purposes.
that's a rumor....don't believe it. Besides, how big can our God be if we believed this to be true? As Christians, we believe he's been all this time protecting his word watching it every step of the way.
In my opinion, the way to know God is to do the best you can to listen(experience) to him, which is done by "letting go of the "self". Meditation is a good way to do this, but it is extremely difficult for most people--myself included.
I agree with the letting go of the self...but.....Question....How do you know who it is who is speaking to you? For Christians, we're told to "test" the spirits to see if it's from God or not. One way is to measure it, is against the word of God. So if what we're "hearing" runs contrary to God's word we know it can't be true. It's our plumb line so to speak. Meditation is a wonderful tool as well. But you have to have something to meditate on. For instance listen to this from Psalm 1.....
"Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sits in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water
which yeilds its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither
Whatever he does prospers."
I hope it's ok to quote that....I know you're not hip on scripture but isn't that a beautiful Psalm worthy of meditation? IMO the Psalms as a whole is probably the best bit of literature of all time for meditation.
The only way to do that is to question everything, especially the word of God.
But you have to read it first Abe...to even question it right? Are you doing that?
For many of us Christians, if not all of us, we start out that way. We start out questioning and testing. Then after a while it proves itself to us and gets to the point where you just start to trust it...a little bit at a time until you realize one day that it's solid. It's sure and it tells us the truth. You start to realize everything in there is unbelieveably true. When you read the wise sayings of the Proverbs it can even hit you in the gut sometimes as you recognize yourself or those around you and it's exactly as it says it is. Then you are zealous like me to show others that it can be trusted by them as well.
After all, it's God's word, and I expect no less.
Good luck in your searching Abe, I enjoyed chatting with you.