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DrDonald
Join Date 09/2003
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Trigger Happy - JUWC (bad habit challenge)

March 17, 2007 11:39:33 AM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Remy saw the back of the man’s head. He saw him put his cell phone away, take the blowgun out and get ready to use it. Remy fired and the man dropped to the ground.

Firing-first-and-asking-questions-later. That had always been Remy’s bad habit. Was it because he was bipolar?

Remy thought about what had brought him here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remy Smith figured he had to be the loneliest person on earth. Maybe it was growing up an only child, maybe it was finding out he was adopted, or maybe it was having his parents gunned down in a home invasion. He didn’t know. He just knew he felt like he was one of a kind and always would be.

“Shooting from the hip” was why he was an EX-cop, suddenly pulled out of a forced retirement. He’d agreed, as long as they gave him back his badge and his gun, just this one last time. See, they needed him now. He had this knack for numbers, being a mathematical savant and all.

Remy looked down at a desk covered with paper that was covered with numbers. He shook his head. These were their feeble attempts at catching this serial perp who so far had killed at least seven people, apparently at random, a week apart.

Some suspected a pattern. That was why he was here. The victims had all been shot with ricin-loaded darts, dying painfully of dehydration over the next few days. There was no antidote. No one survived.

There would always be a cell call to the station just before the attacks. “I’m going to kill somebody’s sister, somebody’s brother.”

His vision blurred and a few numbers came into focus, a pattern. The victims really weren’t completely random. The location of each crime could be predicted by a Fibonacci sequence from the previous crime, going clockwise. One block North, then one block East, then two blocks South, and so on. Each number in the sequence was a sum of the two previous numbers. For short: 1N, 1E, 2S, 3W, 5N, 8E, 13S, and finally 21W, where the next crime was going to happen.

Remy decided not to tell anyone. This stakeout would be his.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kicking away the blowgun, wondering at the mathematical prowess of the man that had perpetrated these crimes, Remy turned the dying man over.

The face was his own.

In shock, he realized that at least for a few moments he would not be alone in this world. The twin brother he'd never known looked back up at him.

And smiled.




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DrDonald
Tova7
Join Date 09/2005
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Reply #1 March 17, 2007 12:25:27 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

Smooth, very smooth.

Loved the transitions, the way the back story was sandwiched in between the action.

Nice.

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DrDonald
Dr Guy
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Reply #2 March 17, 2007 1:18:30 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

You're a doctor and you know about Fibonacci??????????

I am impressed!  With the story and your breadth of knowledge!

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DrDonald
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #3 March 17, 2007 1:22:57 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Wow
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DrDonald
dynamaso
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Reply #4 March 17, 2007 6:36:50 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
What a smart little story this is... Excellent.
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DrDonald
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Reply #5 March 17, 2007 7:18:31 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Smooth, very smooth.

...wow, and from the princess of prose.   
You're a doctor and you know about Fibonacci??????????

...don't pretend you don't know I'm a Geek doc. 
Wow

...thanks, Mason, the ending seemed like a cheap trick but it was worth it  
What a smart little story this is... Excellent.

...glad you liked it, Maso.  
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DrDonald
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Reply #6 March 18, 2007 12:38:17 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
...don't pretend you don't know I'm a Geek doc.


Does that mean you only treat geeks? Ok, when can I put you on my medical plan?
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DrDonald
Shovelheat
Join Date 07/2004
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Reply #7 March 18, 2007 12:44:07 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Wow


What a smart little story this is... Excellent.


I agree with the Masons. A good read.
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DrDonald
DrDonald
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Reply #8 March 18, 2007 2:44:02 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I agree with the Masons. A good read.

yeah, I figure if I hang around you guys long enough I might actually write something worth reading  
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DrDonald
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Reply #9 March 18, 2007 2:47:56 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I agree with the Masons. A good read.

yeah, I figure if I hang around you guys long enough I might actually write something worth reading  


When you pick the right crowd, the sky is the limit!

Again, either well learned, or great stuff. wherever you get it from, itis from you.
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DrDonald
DrDonald
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Reply #10 March 18, 2007 2:54:50 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
pick the right crowd

You guys are definitely the right crowd  Darn, now I'm gonna have to check my blood sugar.  

only treat geeks?

I guess that wouldn't be fair to the norms and the jocks.
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DrDonald
MasonM
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Reply #11 March 18, 2007 3:34:32 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I guess that wouldn't be fair to the norms and the jocks.


I've never met a norm, what are they like?
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DrDonald
DrDonald
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Reply #12 March 18, 2007 4:09:28 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I've never met a norm, what are they like?

you got me there, I've only heard tell -- the people who think they're normal and score exactly 100 on IQ tests, I think -- OK I made that up
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DrDonald
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Reply #13 March 18, 2007 4:48:20 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I guess that wouldn't be fair to the norms and the jocks.


I've never met a norm, what are they like?


Vanilla Ice Cream.
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DrDonald
uDigItTheMost
Join Date 06/2005
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Reply #14 March 19, 2007 12:33:30 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Very cool, DrDonald.
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DrDonald
DrDonald
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Reply #15 March 19, 2007 7:05:11 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Very cool, DrDonald.

thanks!  
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