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DrDonald
DrDonald
Join Date 09/2003
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March "Break"

February 12, 2007 10:09:30 PM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
The plane burns a smoggy path onto the runway, and Paul shakes the hands of the flight crew.

They have a strange look to them as if they know what is about to happen. His arms occupied, down an endless corridor, a casual bump that seems as innocent as a hiccup requires some adjustment to his balance. An edgy crawl through security as he feels a weary daze drift over him. A pretty girl averts his gaze and behind, a presence like a wisp of hair out of place.

He continues, walking more quickly now, to hail a cab. Another cab... follows. As he rides along, his luggage has a pregnant look to it. What dark design lies within? He is afraid to look. He looks instead to see the shadowy figure in the other cab. He's been to Jamaica on spring break and what should have been a dream has become a nightmare. Asking the driver to pull over, he resists the urge to run and leaves his luggage on the street...and then...goes home.

But there it does not end. The knocking at the door, the midnight phone calls, the sleepless terror. Something for sleep, but no. The doctor thinks he's crazy. Thinks he's schizophrenic. Eventually, with treatment,...so does Paul, but always, always...that nagging doubt.





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DrDonald
dynamaso
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #1 February 12, 2007 10:20:47 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Hmm, I know a few 'Pauls' right now. And they smoke like chimneys. Well written, Doc D. I nearly did laugh at the 'Jamaica on spring break' line, but then I wondered how many young people go there only to come back somewhat destroyed, like this character.
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DrDonald
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #2 February 12, 2007 10:24:29 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Very good. Interesting reading.
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DrDonald
Shovelheat
Join Date 07/2004
+1
Reply #3 February 12, 2007 10:35:05 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Very good. Interesting reading.


quick and dirty indeed! glad to have you around mister Dr. Donald!
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DrDonald
foreverserenity
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #4 February 12, 2007 11:28:03 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
You definately peaked my interest! So mysterious!
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DrDonald
DrDonald
Join Date 09/2003
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Reply #5 February 13, 2007 12:22:04 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I know a few 'Pauls' right now

..and this is based on one such young man that was convinced that either the CIA or drug smugglers were following him. Thanks maso.
MasonM

..I've been trying to be more free-flowing like you Joe
glad to have you around mister Dr. Donald

y'all can call me Don. Glad to be around. Thanks!
So mysterious!

thanks fs, much appreciated!
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DrDonald
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #6 February 13, 2007 12:24:22 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
..I've been trying to be more free-flowing like you Joe


I think you have Shovel and I confused or something. My name actually is Mason.
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DrDonald
DrDonald
Join Date 09/2003
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Reply #7 February 13, 2007 12:27:03 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
thanks, I never was good with names Mason, I guess I thought you belonged to some secret society. I was referring to your style even if I did get the name wrong. Thanks.  
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DrDonald
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #8 February 13, 2007 12:34:53 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

thanks, I never was good with names Mason, I guess I thought you belonged to some secret society. I was referring to your style even if I did get the name wrong. Thanks.  


it's no problem, just not the first time you've called me Joe. The first time I thought it was just a slip, but I figured this time I would point it out. Appreciate the cudos even though Shovel is actually the one who does most of the free flow style of writing
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DrDonald
DrDonald
Join Date 09/2003
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Reply #9 February 13, 2007 8:04:18 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
  you're a true gentleman Mason, ...far as I know anyway.
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DrDonald
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
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Reply #10 February 13, 2007 8:19:08 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

you're a true gentleman Mason, ...far as I know anyway.

Shh!  You will ruin his rep!

As for the piece, Paul is all!

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DrDonald
DrDonald
Join Date 09/2003
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Reply #11 February 13, 2007 8:52:15 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Paul is all!

and Guy is sly!
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DrDonald
Tova7
Join Date 09/2005
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Reply #12 February 14, 2007 9:04:32 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

I liked this.  I saw an entire story here in these few paragraphs.  It's amazing how our minds fill in the details.

Great read!

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DrDonald
DrDonald
Join Date 09/2003
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Reply #13 February 14, 2007 12:06:54 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I think we're both visual thinkers, Tova. Thanks.
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