Sex in a relationship is very important. I know you will all agree with me on this. It’s one of the most important parts of the relationship. Anyone who says it isn’t doesn’t know what they’re talking about or they are lying to themselves!
One of the things a couple will fight about in their relationship is sex. I know there are those who don’t believe in sex before marriage, well, to that I say it’s up to the individuals. I seriously don’t think God will be angry at you for making sure that you and a person are compatible before you take the plunge and get married. If you want to wait, go right ahead, there is nothing wrong with that. However, if it’s someone that you really feel you can have a life with, then why not! That’s my opinion, if you don’t agree, we won’t argue about it.
Sex in a relationship can be difficult or it can be great. I’ll relate a little of my experience so you know what I’m getting at.
I met my now husband when I was 18. I was actively dating without having intercourse. That was my choice. At 18 I wasn’t ready to take that plunge.
During our dating relationship, we kissed a lot. Kisses were super great. As we got to know each other better we took it a step further and did the touching bit while kissing. That was as far as it went. I still wasn’t ready to take the plunge. I wanted to wait. He decided he would wait because that was what I wanted.
In between us dating he suddenly disappeared as if he dropped off the planet and I was very happy I had not taken the plunge! I started dating other people again. But I didn’t fool around because for me it wasn’t like that. Except this one guy who I felt an immediate attraction to, my crush! I won’t go into that, you can see my other blogs for that story!LOL!
I continued to date other people and while doing so, bumped into my almost-took-the-plunge-boyfriend at a club. I’ll tell that story another time.
So after one thing or another we got back together. It was a year after that we made love. That experience for me was pleasant but the earth did not move. I was young, and I was very green, and although he was experienced and made it as easy as possible. It was not what all the books talked about! He told me that it will get better for me. And as I get older, he’ll be the one who cannot keep up with me! I laughed at that.
As our relationship progressed. One thing being intimate in our relationship did was brought us closer together. He was willing to do whatever it took to make me enjoy our sexual relationship. He took his time, and I was grateful for that. As our relationship grew and got stronger, I got in tuned with my body and knew what I liked and what I didn’t.
I learned to let go of some hang ups, because if it was going to be a good sexual relationship, I had to let go of those hang ups. In a relationship there is give and take, receiving and giving. That’s not only in the bedroom, but in every other aspect.
As I got older, I got bolder in asking for what I wanted. How else is he going to know? I told him and there’s nothing wrong with giving instructions, take my word for it!
The one thing I can’t stand when we’re being intimate is being rushed. You know what I’m talking about ladies? The times when he’s all gung ho and wants you now, and you don’t want to do it because it will be a rush job for one reason or another (most times it’s the children)! I dislike that with a passion and he knows this. The times I do give in to him are just because I love him and I know it will be uncomfortable for him. That’s the term you’ve heard before, a quickie. I dislike quickies like that.
Now there are the quickies that I’ve enjoyed, where we’re both into it, really super charged and we’re tearing at each other like animals. Yep, the books don’t lie there! But both of you have to be into it, otherwise it becomes a matter of him going at it, while you do your nails or pay the bills or think about what’s for dinner!
The point of me writing this is that in a relationship, if a guy is not willing to take his time, and administer love to his woman, then you’re going to have a difficult time. He has to be willing to give you pleasure not just take it. He has to be willing to do what it takes to help you reach that pinnacle of no return, and take pleasure in doing it, it can’t be rushed. Rushing will only make you wonder what is going on and also lead to great disappointments. And of course going into the bathroom to finish what he started! That’s not a sexual relationship that is torture!
My husband was right about one thing, getting older, there are times when he cannot keep up and he’s no wimp!
Also, if that part of your relationship is not working there’s nothing wrong in getting help. Whether it’s by watching videos, reading books or going to see someone who’s versed on that situation. There’s nothing wrong with you, it just takes time to make it work and as I said, the guy has to be willing to give the time to make it work. Not rush and fumble around like a teenager. No passing the ball here, we’re not on the football field! So explore and enjoy it because that’s what it’s all about!
