My husband is going to kick my ass for writing about this...
As you all know, I've been subject to a lot of moodiness, pissed off-ness and headaches recently, which has left me wondering what the hell is going on with my body...what stress I might be under, or what hormonal fluctuations might be causing me to feel the way I have been.
I figured it out today.
It's a lack of sex.
Actually, it's not a lack, it's the total absence of sexual activity. None. Nada. No jollies for me. Dharma aint gettin' none, and aint likely - wait a sec, there is no 'aint likely', it's guaranteed that I aint getting none until August.
I know what you're thinking, and let me set you straight - yes, I do...everyone does - but that's not what I need. 'Flying solo', whilst ...errrmmm.....helpful and pleasurable at times, just isn't cuttin' it. Inanimate objects, pieces of plastic and latex that buzz and hum...yeah, tried them, no good. I need sex, more specifically, I need sex with Dave. I need the intimacy, the closeness....I need the rip-all-your-clothes-off-get-down-dirty-and-sweaty-carnal-f&*k that only he can provide. I need that release...
..I need it......
...but I'm not going to get it. So, I guess you'll just have to put up with me being pissed off and moody...and when I'm like that, you'll now know why.
BTW..no comments about how (for the guys now) you'll be happy to come over and give me what I need; Dave reads this and I don't want him taking a detour on his way home to seek out and destroy the person who volunteered to f$*k his wife whilst he was gone...
