Being a family is a beautiful thing, but remember if the realtionship is not healthy for you then it is definetly not healthy for your child.
I have watched many people get hurt because they think that they are going to work out their problems with their spouse/significant other. I have watched families be torn apart by drugs, because the parents were way to wrapped up in themselve, and didnt want the relationship to end.
When I decided to split from the father of my child. It was not for who he was. It was not for anything that he had done to me. It was for the simple fact that I was not happy with him anymore. He did not satisfy my emotional needs any longer.
After we made the decision to split I felt like their was a weight lifted off my shoulders. Like i did not need to stress any longer. I loved the fact that I could just sit back with my three month old and not have to worry about cleaning up after a "grown" man. I did not have to stress about when or where I was going or if I was going to do something wrong that he didn't like. I was able to raise my child the way that i wanted my child to be raised.
After i took him to attorney general and got custody taken care of he kind of just disappeared on his own. There was no me running him away. I actually tried to force him to see his son at some points until he started threatening me about taking him away.
Yes its hard being alone in this world, but most people have a stron support system behind them. I will tell you that my mother is my best friend for everything she has helped me with. Dad helps with with financial issues. He will give me money if i need it, but my mother helps me with the tougher issue. The fact that if I was COMPLETELY alone i would probably have lost my mind. Or have jumped into a relationship that i never wanted in the first place for the simple fact of not loosing my mind.
So the advice I have for single mothers is. Make sure that you have some kind of support system weather it be friends, family, parents. Anything will do. If you cannot seem to find yourself a support system then it looks like you need to find new friends. Babysitters are amazing, and they are there when you need them, but do not take advantage of your babysitters. They are not someone to call every weekend so that you can go do everything without your children.
Your the one who had these children. You decided that you wanted them It is your responsibility to make sure that they are taken care of. Take them with you places. If they never get out into public places then they do not know how to act in a public place when you do decided that its time to go. And if they do not know how to act then you are going to have a tough time getting them to act right.
I have been through a lot with a lot of children. My own, my nieces, my nephews, cousins. You name it. I have been through it all with them. Foster homes, cps, anything and everything. I have even fostered a few myself. There is nothing funny about these situations. I watched my cousin get her kids ripped from her side, becasue she refused to leave her husband who refused quit doing drugs.
Her life without him in it. She would have her children and a whole less heart break, but she thinks that she is not able to raise her four children on her own. It has to be stressful, but nothing is worth loosing your children.
I get super lonely sometimes. I even sit in my room and cry myself to sleep sometimes, becasue I hate being alone. The next morning I wake up with my two year old, and remain strong because I am the mother and father to my son. He needs someone to be strong for him
When you find yourself being a mother and father to a child just remember. You always get twice of everything the giggles, kisses, tickles, and twice the hugs.
The 'I Love You's' and 'Love You More's' are so much sweeter.
Being without this man that you think you need so much makes you appreciate the little things so much more.