Thanks KFC. You are such a sweetheart.
I went today for some pre-op tests...woo hoo. Nothin like taking your shirt off in front of strangers....
Strangely, I don't feel forsaken by God because of this. Right now, I don't feel much of anything. I'm a bit on overload. We buried Aunt Shelby (who raised me and was the only mother I really knew) Thursday after dying from lung cancer. She lived 5 years and they gave her 6 months, told her that was BEST CASE. She took chemo for five years.....
I was right by her side when she died, holding on to her. I'm thankful I was able to be there, and that she didn't have to worry about this.
God didn't cure her. And He's likely not going to cure me. And I'm good with that.
I'd hate to leave my boys, half grown and without a mother. Especially Gavin. He needs so MUCH extra and he's only 7. He wouldn't even remember me.
But it is what it is. Mothers die everyday. Millions before me, and millions after. My kids have a fantastic dad, so they're already ahead of the game if something happens.
It does kinda suck though, I'll be honest, to have to plan in more detail exactly what I would like to happen (to my organs, personal stuff, etc) if I happen to stroke out on the operating table or something.
My poor husband. He got SO jipped.