Can I imbue him with essence and teach him how to cast spells?
Me: Now, Fidoom, wag your tail *Fidoom wags tail and casts a lightning bolt*
Me: Good boy *gives a treat* Now, hold up your left paw and bark once.
Fidoom: *holds up right paw* Ruff!
A boulder nearly hits me in the head.
Me: No, Fidoom. Your other paw!
Fidoom: *Now lifts up both paws like in a begging pose* Ruff!
A desert suddenly appears and nearly wipes out a farm
Me: No! Let's try something else. Lie down and bark.
Fidoom: *Lies down barks...but his tail wags because he's excited*
Everyone in the town suddenly doesn't feel like doing anything (i.e. the Sloth spell)
Me: *sigh* Maybe this was a bad idea.