It was a bright and breezy morning, with just the right kind of chill that seeps into your bones and makes you long for warmer weather or at least a thicker coat. I was stepping out of the Smith's grocery store, pleased to have just purchased the obligatory vegetable tray that my branch wanted me to bring for our New Year's Eve festival at the bank this afternoon. (I'm tired of always being assigned the relish tray, simply because they like the dip that Momma Jones - and, due to her tutelage, I as well - make for them. I want to broaden my potluck horizons, people. Give me a break from the veggies, please.)
As I meandered back to my car, what should confront me but a horrible, terrible sight - a gross old lady in skin-tight sweats, the word 'bebe' emblazoned across her posterior, jiggling grotesquely with every step.
I'll never understand where old/overweight people get the idea that they should wear skanky clothing. Personally, there's nothing I find less attractive than smuttily-clad bigger gals. Please - I'm chubby, I get it; I keep myself adequately covered by clothes that are designed to fit me, and don't let my grossness hang out all over the place. If only the rest of the big population would keep this in mind, we'd all be hunky-dory.
However, they don't. My eyes are assaulted like this on a regular basis - people with their skeevy thong unmentionables hanging out of their too-tight pants, tube and halter tops that show every bulge and wrinkle, bellies that hang out over hidden waistlines of jeans.
Please. It has to stop. Now, I'm a hot-blooded male; I like to see attractive women in less-than-appropriate clothing as much as the next guy. But I would sacrifice EVERY bit of revealing, tight clothing if it meant I never have to see an old, flabby butt with 'bebe' wiggling on it ever again.
And frankly, this goes for men, too - NO MORE TANKTOPS. EVER. There is no excuse for it under any circumstances, men. I don't care if you're ripped like a 1984 Terminator-era Arnie, I don't want to see it. And basically, the fact is (even if you think you are) you're not built good enough to wear it.
Fat guys - cover your darn bellies. I don't want to see your flabs hanging out under your shirts - buy larger, if you need to. And NO SHORT SHORTS. For the love of my unborn childrens.
I will do MY bit to make sure that I never let this happen to me. (It helps that I'm male and don't own sweatpants that I would ever wear anywhere besides my home, but I digress.) This is my first (of many to come) New Year's Resolution: to not be gross when I go in public.