So she talked to a guy while you were emotionally unavailable because you were playing online games. Maybe me and you need to take some time to actually seek out the company of our wives, instead of seeking out entertaining distractions. I bet our wives are entertaining, too. Maybe we just need to practice speaking to them without arguing or boring them, to get better at it, instead of getting frustrated because we fail at it all the time.
I admit I do play my games often, but my need to play is actually due to not being given enough attention. I seek her out, try to have conversations. I even try to talk about things she likes, but I just can't seem to spark that happy go lucky attitude she gets when talking to other people besides me. Sometimes it feels like I'm the one who has to do all the work and after trying my reward is very little if anything. I always find it interesting how I seem to think I am doing so much and more yet most peoples comments point to me not doing enough or very little. I truly have lost my romantic touch.
I'm sure it will take time, as our efforts in this area will be met with resistance at first. "Oh, so now you're going to talk to me?" will probably be said a lot, and not by us.
It's been years since I have been fighting to keep this relationship alive, the progress has been slow and little. but my faith keeps me going.
Relationships take work, and time. I know I haven't really put in the work that is necessary to sustain a marriage (which is a lot more than a friendship, by the way, which is why a stranger on the train is able to speak to your wife - she's getting more than she expected out of him, and less than she expects out of you). So maybe we should make that our goal for the month?
I think I have put a lot of time and effort into this relationship. But I am willing to try harder if necessary. That part about getting more from him and less from me is very disturbing and makes me feel worse than I felt. Maybe I am hoping too much for something that is already lost? Lord, I am more in pain that I was when I first wrote this.
You give it to her. Don't give anyone else the opportunity to do your job.
Have you ever found yourself trying so hard to do something only to find yourself not trying as hard anymore because you start getting the feeling you are not making any progress and you are the only one trying?
It's funny. My wife told me she had told some of her friends about our issues and they, too, thought I am the problem. I must truly be blind. Am I really being that hardheaded that I can't see it's me the problem? Wow, this is going downhill fast. I am not seeing the responses I was hoping.