What can I say? It's a gift
I'm done with school for the year. I'm back home for the summer, oh, this'll be fun.
See, I have this problem. I make my mother cry. I don't mean to, but...I do it anyway, all the time. See, I'm kind of sarcastic, right? And she's uber sensitive about...everything. So, no matter what I say, or how I say it, I can't go a whole day without bringing tears to her eyes. This is why I didn't want to go home. I wanted to stay at school, forever, with my friends, people who don't cry all the time.
I'm respected at school, treated like an equal. I have friends, I made a new home there. Now I'm in the middle of my life, I don't live at home anymore, not really, but I don't have a permanent home away from the parents, either. But I made school my home. I finally have a best friend, I've never had that, and now I won't see him for three and a half months.
So naturally, I'm going to miss school. A lot. Probably more than I ever missed home. I was never homesick, now I am. Does that seem right to you?
It's not that I don't love my family, but...I've finally tasted freedom, being able to do what I want, when I want, spend time with whomever I want, and make my own decisions. For the most part, I've done what I've been taught from the time I was small. Everything important has stayed with me, church, grades, moral and ethical decisions, that sort of thing.
My mom came to pick me up because I don't have a car and my dad couldn't come. I like my dad, we're buddies. I mean, we don't see eye to eye on everything, but for the most part we get along great. My mom, however, is nuts. She seems to think that I'm incapable of making my own decisions, purcchasing my own car, or finding my own friends. While I respect her, I don't agree with her on, well, anything. We are polar opposites. So I was already dreading a four and a half hour car ride, particularly because I don't think she likes me much, anyway.
So, I'm driving along, and I ponder aloud: "I wonder when it'll hit me that this isn't just a visit home, but that I won't see these people for four months."
She says, "Well, it'll be like when you would miss home, but you got over it."
I say, "Honestly, Mom, I didn't miss home that much. I mean, I love you guys, but (City) is my home, now. It's where I'm supposed to be, I know that, and I kind of don't want to leave."
She immediately begins crying and going off on me about how horrible I am that I didn't miss home and how I have a duty to my family and I belong at home and nowhere else, blah, blah, blah...
Anyway, that was my fun car ride. The interesting thing is that the conversation didn't go any differently than could be expected...but I wasn't about to lie to her and tell her how thrilled I was to be under the thumb of the parental conrol units again.
I love my family, but I've recieved revelation telling me that I'm supposed to go to school where I'm currently going, and that's where I need to be for the next few years until I get my degree. I've made it my home. And now I'm scared for the summer, to be away from the people I'm closer to than anyone else in the world. Except SanChonino, and he's in Spain.
Call me a bad daughter, but I know where I need to be, and it's not here. It's at home.
This is going to be a long summer.