I don't know who's responsible, who may have made phone calls, or what strings may have been pulled, but after more than a week and a half I have been freed from my captivity under the counter of Laughlin's only falafel stand/pool concession "Falaughlin World."
I'm now free to blog again and go about my business as if nothing had happened. (The ten Iranian grandchildren of Falaughlin World's owners, who pummeled and kidnapped me from the community pool to begin with, made it very clear it was in my best interest to go about my business as if nothing had happened.)
Falaughlin World's owners were very kind about it, I must say. (I really really must say that.) They provided me with a new swimsuit and a rumpled McDonald's to-go bag filled with goodies. It contained a baggie full of falafel, coupons for Islamo-Mania: The Vegas Experience, a Koran, and a paperback copy of the New York Times bestseller Die You Infidel Pig: Winning Christians to Mohammed.
They say no concessions were made to secure my release, but I can't help but notice Falaughlin World has been moved four feet closer to the pool entrance. I also saw an ad for a Burqa fashion show at the mall's food court. I'm sure that's a coincidence, though.