Ejection Fraction

By on September 7, 2011 2:17:22 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Tova7

Join Date 09/2005
+134

Once, when I was a child, I licked the end of a tv antenna while it was on. I don’t know why I did it, but I did. To this day I remember the way it tasted, the metallic bite on the back of the tongue, the acrid aftertaste.

Radiation was like that. Acrid, metallic, exhausting.

33 treatments cooked my underarm and the last bit of energy I possessed.

But, I’m done with it.

D. O. N. E.

Finished the cooking process the last week in June and then WHOA the summer taxied down the runway…

Woot.

One year ago next week I was diagnosed.  And about three months ago, my hair started growing back …this is my first week topless..

 

I take a drug through the port in my chest (so sexy, I know) called Herceptin every 3 weeks until December. Unless I don’t. It’s hard on the ticker, and my ticker has taken some serious hits the last 9 months so we’re keeping an eye on it. The ejection fraction ain’t what it used to be.  (That just sounds nasty doesn’t it?)

Oh, and I’ll be on an estrogen blocking pill for at least 5 years (if I live that long) and possibly longer. HELLOooo hot flashes.   And it makes it much more difficult to keep hard abs.  But this is where they are right now.  That’s right, I’m posting it for posterity!

Maybe I’ll have the energy to get them harder again in the future. Right now, I’m happy to just finish my workout everyday.  Considering all of the women I started treatment with gained an average of 25-35 pounds (those steroids are wicked wicked things!) I’m content I didn’t gain an ounce! WOO HOO!!

I won’t lie though.  It was mucho hard.  I monitored every single bite, forced myself to eat through the sickness (so I wouldn’t lose lean muscle) and forced myself to STOP eating too much while on steroids.  It gave me a goal though, other than ya know, the survival thing.  heh

But I am pooped.  Tired.  Tuckered out.

Can’t decide if the year is catching up with me, or perhaps it was just the fact we’ve been going non-stop since radiation ended.

---------------------------------

Onto the life stuff…

I spent the first 15 years of my life in Ohio.  I have history here.  And as with any history there is a her-story.  I won’t go back into all the details, I’ve blogged about it here before.  But since returning, I’ve been able to re-connect with some of the people from my childhood and teenage years.  People I thought lost to me forever.  Say what you will about Facebook being anti-privacy, blah, blah, blah.  But it certainly was instrumental in reuniting me with some truly amazing people. 

I attended a high school class reunion.  Two in fact.  Since I went to 5 high schools total (long story), I attended my first and last HS reunions.  This was the big 25 year get together and the pictures just don’t do the experience justice!  I will probably post them later….depends how much time I get.

Between the two reunions, I took a much needed week away with my husband to Dallas.  He went for a meeting, I tagged along and we really had a good time.  The picture of me with the really short hair was taken downtown Dallas.

We also took the boys for a week to San Diego, California.  Our youngest loves Legos, so we scheduled plenty of time at Legoland, the Legoland Sealife exhibit, as well as Legoland water park.  (If I never see Legoland again, I’m good with that.)  We also spent mucho time on the beach and poolside, so my teenager found the family vacation “not too bad.”  (Barring the bad sunburn which required him to stay in the hotel room for two days!)

Again, I have pics, you wouldn’t believe all the stuff they make out of Legos!  Most will have to wait for another blog, it’s all I can do (time wise) to get a few pics and words committed to this post.  This is me and my man with a Lego Darth Vader.  How cool is that?

What?  I was trying to save him!  lol

That’s all for now…..my youngest is home from school and that means two hours of homework.

Perhaps we can work on diminishing the ejection fraction of that particular activity!!  He’s only in third grade!!

 

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September 7, 2011 2:24:20 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

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September 7, 2011 2:36:54 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

You are fucking beautiful.

 

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September 7, 2011 4:43:18 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

Thanks Tex!  lol

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September 7, 2011 6:29:19 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Good to hear from you, Tova, ballsy as ever.

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September 7, 2011 8:41:51 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

What they said!

 

Thanks for the update. You're awesome!!!

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September 7, 2011 9:21:36 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

Thanks D and Bunna!  I hope to start blogging more this fall and winter when the weather forces me to slow down a little.....I miss it!

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September 7, 2011 9:47:10 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

me too T.  I haven't been here since April and since I saw your link on FB I checked it out.  So in effect, you dragged me back, so to speak.  

Glad I got to see you a bit this summer.  Hopefully, maybe, later this fall or so I'll go back for another visit.  Maybe now, that Amanda is a two car family, we can come and visit you and let Brian babysit..although I'm sure the babies would love to see you again.  LOL.  

and...all you hard work paid off..you look fabulous darlin'

 

 

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September 8, 2011 12:18:29 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

You officially join the ranks of my heroes.  You are truly an amazing gal.  Last year I was watching a dear friend go through Chemo/surgery/radiation when you let us know you had been diagnosed.  I truly believed that you would not last a year and it broke my heart that one more special person was being destroyed by that nasty "C" word...No Tova!  Cancer!  I am overjoyed that you are not only still with us but look at you!  You are star quality through and through.  Bonzai!!

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September 8, 2011 12:19:21 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

You are an inspiration to everyone!  I am glad you shared with us and showed us what real tenacity and grit are all about!

25 years?  I only went to 3 high schools, but passed my 25th reunion 12 years ago.

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September 8, 2011 3:11:18 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

Is the quote feature not working??

Oh well...

KFC..Thanks!  Coming from Ms. Fitness, I'll take it!

Yes it was so good to spend time with you this summer.  I'd love to have a girl's lunch/bowling/movie/whateva! out with you and Amanda.  You are two of my favorite peeps!

(And as a sidebar, we could also schedule some kid time so I can see the munchkins!!   Love those kids.)

BFD....um, am I reading that right?  You wrote me off??!! 

That's ok.  There are days when I play the "where will I be this time next year" and it involves about 6 feet of soil and a headstone.  But I don't dwell on it.  Why waste the time?  lol

I am still taking a chemotherapy drug until December, then a few surgeries, hopefully that all goes as planned (this is me NOT holding my breaf).  Unless I get cancer from the radiation, cancer from the chemo, cancer from the anti-estrogen they have me taking the rest of my life, or recurrence, I have a 6 in 10 shot of still kicking around in 5 years.  buwhahahhaha.

I've had worse odds.

Doc....please don't say I'm an inspiration.  I am NOT that...lol.  If you think about it, what choice does anyone have when diagnosed with some crappy disease?  Family?  Life situation?

Deal.  Move on.  Or die.

heh.

I'll be 43 next week so 25 year reunion did my heart gooooood.

 

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September 9, 2011 6:37:34 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Tova,

Yea, good to see and hear from you again.

Yes, ditto what everyone has already said!

Wow. Good golly....you are a beautiful dear.

You are proof positive that life, even with its ups and downs, is precious.  

Thank you God.

 

 

 

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September 10, 2011 9:32:08 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Quoting lulapilgrim,
Wow. Good golly....you are a beautiful dear.
You are proof positive that life, even with its ups and downs, is precious.
Thank you God.

 

Thanks Lula.  Back at ya!

Once I get the energy level back up....I will be as good as a dented car in the new vehicle lot...buwhahaha.

Here's something to chew on.  My cousin, 10 years older than me, was just diagnosed with BC, at the same time of year I was diagnosed last year. 

Her cancer is the same size, in the same breast, the same TYPE (triple pos), AND IN THE EXACT SAME SPOT AS MINE!

How weird is that?

Her daughter, (15 years younger than me) had thyroid cancer two years ago.

Something is wrong in Denmark!

 

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September 10, 2011 7:26:39 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Quoting Tova7,
Something is wrong in Denmark!

 

Signs of the times?  We're seeing more and more of everything and it seems tho it's coming earlier and earlier than in the "old days."  

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September 10, 2011 7:49:42 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Quoting KFC Kickin For Christ,
Signs of the times?

I think so.

Quoting KFC Kickin For Christ,
We're seeing more and more of everything and it seems tho it's coming earlier and earlier than in the "old days."

Something is definitely up. It used to be that it was mainly menapausal women who got breast cancer, but that is changing now as more and more younger women and even girls are being diagnosed with it. 

Just this past week, I spoke to 2 women, both in their late 30's, who have found a lump and are going beyond the mammogram and having an ultrasound test.

 

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September 10, 2011 7:52:01 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Quoting Tova7,
Once I get the energy level back up....

 

You should write a book!

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September 12, 2011 12:55:59 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Quoting Tova7,
Once I get the energy level back up....I will be as good as a dented car in the new vehicle lot...buwhahaha.

Now that scares me!

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September 12, 2011 2:02:25 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Quoting Dr Guy,
Now that scares me!

You and a few other people in my life Doc....buwhahahahahaha.

Quoting lulapilgrim,
You should write a book!

And say what?  lol  Just about everything I've done/said/lived was done/said/lived and written about already.  I had the misfortune to read some of it before I started treatment, and most of the autobiographical stuff is whiny woe is me crap...heck, some of the stuff I wrote about BC here is whiny crap!!  lol

Quoting lulapilgrim,
Just this past week, I spoke to 2 women, both in their late 30's, who have found a lump and are going beyond the mammogram and having an ultrasound test.

Ugh Lula.  Just, ugh.

Quoting KFC Kickin For Christ,
Signs of the times? We're seeing more and more of everything and it seems tho it's coming earlier and earlier than in the "old days."

There seems to be two primary schools of thought in the research literature on this topic.

1st... Diagnostic Tools are so much better now, people are diagnosed earlier

2nd... There is an increase in cancer for various reasons (this theory is usually accompanied by supporting material for whatever "reason" the author believes to be at the root).

I don't know.  Like most things it is probably a bit of both.  However, in my case I think it has something to do with DNA.  Until my generation, the cancer seemed to only affect the males in the family.  (Of course!  It coudn't be something like the skinny gene, pfft.)







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September 13, 2011 9:55:20 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Tova:  You don't get to decide if you are an inspiration or not.  You are a tough, intelligent, sexy, beautiful, funny, articulate, and let's be honest, extremely lucky woman.  What is not inspiring about you?  I count myself lucky to know of you let alone know you.  I love ya, kid, and I love the fact that you have all these qualities and still display humility and poise.  Let that light shine, Tonya...let the newly diagnosed, scared ---tless, uncertain and uninformed look at you and gain a bit of hope.  Bonzai!

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September 13, 2011 12:40:57 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Quoting Big Fat Daddy,
Tova:  You don't get to decide if you are an inspiration or not.  You are a tough, intelligent, sexy, beautiful, funny, articulate, and let's be honest, extremely lucky woman.  What is not inspiring about you?  I count myself lucky to know of you let alone know you.  I love ya, kid, and I love the fact that you have all these qualities and still display humility and poise.  Let that light shine, Tonya...let the newly diagnosed, scared ---tless, uncertain and uninformed look at you and gain a bit of hope.  Bonzai!

Ditto!

Quoting Tova7,
I don't know. Like most things it is probably a bit of both.

Number 3 may be that since we have conquered many of the diseases that killed us in the past, the ones yet to be conquered are just having more time to develop.

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September 13, 2011 1:52:42 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Quoting Dr Guy,
Number 3 may be that since we have conquered many of the diseases that killed us in the past, the ones yet to be conquered are just having more time to develop.

Some days I read the literature and think, wow, we've come so far!

And other days, I think...really?  Cutting off my boob?  That's the best we got?  lol

Quoting Big Fat Daddy,
I love ya, kid, and I love the fact that you have all these qualities and still display humility and poise. Let that light shine, Tonya...let the newly diagnosed, scared ---tless, uncertain and uninformed look at you and gain a bit of hope.

Wow BFD.  Thanks.  Just, thanks. 



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September 14, 2011 3:01:40 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Quoting Tova7,
And other days, I think...really? Cutting off my boob? That's the best we got? lol

You sound like Bones McCoy in Star trek IV.

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September 15, 2011 10:15:15 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

T, love the hair, you look great long or short! I know you get tired of hearing it, but write the darn book! I agree that you're such an inspiration to all of us, and can be to even more! Love you T!  "Shout-out" to you guys @ JU!

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September 15, 2011 11:31:53 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Thanks FS.  Appreciate it

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September 15, 2011 1:23:52 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Hey FS:  Where ya been?  You're missed around here.  Write us something.

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October 8, 2011 5:07:31 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Love the short hair, you look fabulous!

Living in Norfolk these days.  Check your PMs for my number, and give me a call please?  Your strength is inspiring!

 

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