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When women take their clothes off

a look at America's women

By on May 3, 2004 2:35:31 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

imajinit

Join Date 01/2004
0

Let me start by saying that I don't know a thing about women... That in no way means that I can't run my mouth as if I do...

I'm a dude.  I grew up a guy, and that is of course all I know how to be... Since I study human nature, it's only natural that I would be curious how women think... For starters, what would possess a woman to flash her tatas for some .99 cent beads? 

I suspect that many women grow up dreaming of falling in love with a tall, dark and handsome man.  A good parent will of course teach their daughter that her body is sacred, and should only be shared with someone special.  Many of the young ladies here at JoeU profess that they are saving their bodies for marriage.  They're holding out for the aforementioned tall, dark and handsome man before they explore their sexuality.

But let's face it.  There are women in all walks of life, from suburbia U.S.A to trailer trash to rich spoiled little brats to ghetto ho's to good little Christian girls to young women who blog on JoeU and fit one or more of the above descriptions. 

Somewhere along the way, these women grow up into mature young adults.  When first that young bird flies from the nest, she gets the urge to 'spread her wings' if ya know what I mean.  That's when she finds herself on Bourbon St. at Mardi Gras with guys yelling "show us your t**s!" at her. 

As near as I can tell, young women have a need to feel sexy.  They have something inside them that tells them they should be desired by the opposite sex.  Keep in mind that I'm not talking about *all* women here... I personally know some women that are different.  But I've seen the 'Girls Gone Wild' commercials on T.V... A lot of women need to feel sexy and desirable. 

Human nature comes into play in terms of vacation as well.  Surely there are women who would not dream of taking their clothes off in public in their hometown, but will show their boobs while a 1000 miles from home.  Perhaps it's something about the adventure.  On the radio the other day I heard a female D.J. call it a "rite of passage", and admitted that she had done her share of flashing the masses. 

The trouble here, is that this is a matter of self-respect.  Women seem to let their need to be loved and desired affect their judgment.  Surely someone is going to point out the double standard.  I don't deny that one exists.  But in my opinion, women should not let "sexual freedom" and "knowing what they want and going for it" get confused with maintaining their self-respect.  That's not to say that it makes her a bad person by giving in to her desires, or that she's less of a woman, I just think women (and men) need to think more before acting... The exception to this rule of course is women who have invested in some sillycon.  If you're going to spend that much money on something, you might as well show it off...  

In short, women are not doing themselves any favors by showing off their assets to just anyone.  Men are guilty as hell of not having enough respect for ourselves to save our 'love' for the right woman, there is no reason for women to make the same mistake.  Leave it to our imagination ladies... Go on and get that job at Hooters, but for goodness sake, keep your clothes on!

I personally have a very special woman in my life who once had this to say about women who show off their boobs in public: "That's just trashy."   

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May 3, 2004 7:10:43 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
There is a saying that I have heard that I don't necessarily agree with but it basically says; women give sex to gain love, and men give love to gain sex. I think I read it somewhere anyways I thought I'd share it. I hope I don't receive a lot of backlash.

but for goodness sake, keep your clothes on!


The frat boy in me thinks this is crazy talk, but the nice guy in me agrees with you. I must admit the ability to show off your, umm, assets to a large crowd is not a quality I would look for in a relationship either.
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May 3, 2004 7:21:57 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

I never believe anything you write, because it seems like you're always playing a different part for the mood of the moment.


 

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May 3, 2004 7:58:09 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

psychx... that's a good quote... interesting how you mentioned the two sides of yourself, the frat boy and the nice guy... and how they don't always agree with each other. 


which brings me to my reply to JeremyG...


I never believe anything you write


thanks Jeremy... you sure know how to brighten up a guy's morning...


because it seems like you're always playing a different part for the mood of the moment.


fortunately for me, I'm not running for any political office, so I don't have to worry about contradicting myself do I?  Like so many other men before me(like psychx), I too have mixed feelings on this... or more appropriately stated, I had mixed feelings on it.  When i was a young man, I didn't care if the women I chased were 'easy' or not.  It took me a few years to realize that the virtuous women, i.e. the ones who withhold 'the goods' for a while are the ones worth holding onto.  The ones who give it up on the first date to you are the same ones who give it up on the first date to every other guy they go out with. 


Do I write from both sides of the fence?  yes I do.  Sometimes I write from my perspective as it is now, and sometimes I write from the perspective I may have held once upon a time.  To me it's all about exposing another perspective that someone may not have even considered.  I've written about reality and perceptions before, so I won't beat that dead horse... either way, I'm sorry that you don't believe anything I write.  That's a very cruel thing to say to someone who writes a lot, and enjoys it as much as I do...  


 

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May 3, 2004 8:42:30 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
I think "trashy" and "insecure" are key.  You need only be one or the other.  I also think large amounts of alcohol have played a key role in a lot of the flashings you see on the shows like "Girls Gone Wild".  I think insecure girls who are trying to prove something either to themselves or others are the ones who strip.  Secure girls who only wish to share themselves with someone special keep their clothes on.  But that is just my take on the issue.
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May 3, 2004 9:36:48 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
I have tried for the past fifteen minutes to write a suitable comment without offending anyone, and so far, it hasn't been working that well. Passing judgement on others is easy to do; it seems harder to be more willing to let others be who they are without imposing your own opinion on them. I'm never going to be on 'girls gone wild' but I'm not going to consider anyone negatively because my own morality is different from theirs.
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May 3, 2004 10:05:54 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
We all get trashy and insecure from time to time, some time you just gotta let it all hang out...just be carefult there aren't too many cameras about when you decide to do so.
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May 3, 2004 1:02:10 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Very insightful. And I totally agree.

The first thing people need to get a grip with is that society isn't fair. There are different standards of behavior for men and women. They're not the same and arguably not fair. But that's life. People gotta deal with it.

And one of those things is that women who show off their "assets" or are free with their bodies devalue themselves. I'm not arguing that women need to be virginal, but the circumstances of letting others see or touch their bodies can make a big difference in what their eventual choices in life will be.

Frankly, I know many men of "good quality" that wouldn't even think of getting serious with a woman who freely showed off her breasts or slept around simply because of the way many men, myself included, dtermine the value of a woman. Some people flinch at such talk but it's just reality. Men get valued by women in a different but just as "unfair" ways.

A woman who would show off her breasts on TV or in a magazine would immediately be off my list of someone I would take seriously. A one night stand or two would permanently cost them a loss in respect.

After all, if a woman doesn't value herself at all, why should anyone else?

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May 3, 2004 1:12:09 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
Yes, women should cover their bodies.   Maybe they should wear a veil in public while their at it.
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May 3, 2004 1:14:47 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

The best part is that europeans are getting a good chuckle out of this post.   For them it's the norm to let other's see your body when you're someplace like a beach.

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May 3, 2004 1:16:45 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
A one night stand or two would permanently cost them a loss in respect.


...if you know about a girl's one night stand, than yea, there's a loss of respect because it's as if she did it to impress others...but if she's discreet, you'll never know and therefore you'd be unable to judge. I suppose it comes down to the difference between girls that respect themselves and girls that don't. I wonder how many women out there, that you already respect, have had one night stands that you are completely unaware of...
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May 3, 2004 1:27:33 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
What's even more amusing is that a large number of men believe they're married to a woman who would "never do that" when in actuality they're married to a woman who would "never admit that".
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May 3, 2004 2:07:45 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
The way I see it, women should be able to explore their sexuality just as openly as a man would. No one lambasts a man for walking around on a beach with his shirt off, all sweaty and manly, why should it be the same for women? When people go out and get totally shitty and have a good time, who cares if some women bear their breasts?

I think it all comes down to an American social stigma that mandates that nudity = immorality.

As far as one night stands go...why should a woman lose respect because she had a one night stand? I recall an article by JeremyG here where him and a female that he had met at a bar had their way with each other. It didn't seem like any lack of respect happened for either party.

-- B
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May 3, 2004 2:18:59 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Hmmm...women flashing their boobs...hey, if they're nice and you're proud of them, then more power to you.  I think that the 'Girls Gone Wild' and Mardi Gras scenarios are largely due to intoxication and the '15 seconds of fame' syndrome.  I wonder too, what the average age of the girls is? 


Women having one night stands...this is the age of supposed sexual equality, yet a woman is deemed 'loose' or described as having 'no self-respect' if she has sex with someone she's not in a relationship with.  I don't see anything wrong with a woman fulfilling her sexual needs. 


 

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May 3, 2004 2:22:50 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
well written!! i dont judge anyone for what they do or have done, but i think you have a point to some extent.
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May 3, 2004 2:28:38 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

JeremyG: The Europeans have different societal norms from Americans. Good for them. 

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May 3, 2004 4:27:07 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
I just want to say that I have no respect for anyone that would withhold their VERY VALUABLE opinion for the fear of "insulting" someone.

How do you think humans make progress?

grrr....

Trinitie
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May 3, 2004 5:46:36 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
I just want to say that I have no respect for anyone that would withhold their VERY VALUABLE opinion for the fear of "insulting" someone.


You're right. It's far more respectable to insult someone and then follow it up with a nice little "I love you" because that makes it better! After all, opinions are more important than feelings.

Some things are simply better left unsaid. (and honestly, this was probably one of them).

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May 3, 2004 6:22:13 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

You're right. It's far more respectable to insult someone and then follow it up with a nice little "I love you" because that makes it better! After all, opinions are more important than feelings.


Well said, Shades. 

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May 3, 2004 6:36:03 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
What are you guys talking about?
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May 3, 2004 6:48:02 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums


Reply #16 By: new-age nomad - 5/3/2004 4:27:07 PM
I just want to say that I have no respect for anyone that would withhold their VERY VALUABLE opinion for the fear of "insulting" someone.

How do you think humans make progress?

grrr....

Trinitie


That's what we're talking about.


It seems that tact is not too popular among the younger crowd.

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May 3, 2004 6:51:41 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
and I was being quite tactless and catty with my reply...
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May 3, 2004 7:00:16 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

and I was being quite tactless and catty with my reply...


But hey, isn't that what Trinitie asked for?  I mean, you gave your valuable opinion, right?


 

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May 3, 2004 7:02:34 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
Yes, I just hope my sarcasm was clear...I had thought we'd been through all of this before...

hey imajinit--sorry for trolling up your blog!
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May 3, 2004 7:15:23 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
"quote]You're right. It's far more respectable to insult someone and then follow it up with a nice little "I love you" because that makes it better! After all, opinions are more important than feelings. Some things are simply better left unsaid. (and honestly, this was probably one of them)."

I know you meant this sarcastically, but I think opinions are more important than feelings. Many ideas throughout the ages have offended people to no end- any civil rights movement fits that bill- but have only benefited society.

Unfortunately, some people are under the unfortunate impression that "sexual freedom" is a challenged liberty. It's kind of like some rap song that I don't like but is on the radio so much that I've memorized the lyrics "I want a lady on the streets, but a freak in the bed." If a women wants to be desirable, the way to do it is not to demonstrate her "sexual liberty" on the streets. If a girl wants to "take care of her sexual desires" (paraphrase from Dharmagrl), the best way to go about it is to show a modicum of propriety mixed with some not-too-subtle signs of interest. A guy doesn't feel that special if he's only getting what he knows she's give anybody else on the streets.

That was more of an unorganized rant than a response, but I think my opinion came across so I won't take the time to rewrite it. JeremyG... your honesty in your first reply perhaps rivaled my own... but unfortunately digressed into verbal jabs. Imajinit does play both sides of the fence, but while he has a talent for seeing all sides of an issue, I think we all know where he stands most of the time, and if not, he's more than willing to clarify.

Great post, Imajinit.

~Buddha
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May 3, 2004 7:20:49 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
but I think opinions are more important than feelings


Dan, we are going to agree to disagree. When opinions are stated tactfully, they tend to not be insulting. When your opinion is simply going to hurt those around you, it's best to save it for a more appropriate time and place to air it. I think we all saw what happens when opinions override concern for other people's feelings. It's not pretty, and often, it's not necessary.

By the way, insulting and offending are completely different; thus, the civil rights example doesn't hold any water with me. You can disagree with me, or be offended by what I say, and it doesn't mean I insulted you.

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